Once Upon A Dream
by Meyple
Summary: "Do you know who I am?" his modulated voice demanded of her, and though she couldn't see his face she imagined it was expectant. Arielia nodded her head furiously, but the words wouldn't come out, instead she stared at him open mouthed and weeping. "Who?" he asked reaching a hand down to pull her up to her feet by her shoulder...AN:Kylo/OC,AU,Violence!,Toxic Relationship!
1. The Beach

**AN:Hey guys! It has been a really long time since I dipped my toes into the world of fanfiction, but after finishing The Saga this weekend I wanted to give this a try! I hope you guys enjoy this, and if you do ,please leave a comment. Thanks so much for giving this a read and I hope you enjoy it!**

**XoXo,**

**Meyple**

Chapter 1:The Beach

_The sand was soft and wet under her feet, it stuck to her toes and made her whole body feel warm. She walked down the familiar shore, unafraid; she knew this place. For many years, she hadn't been there, but she knew the smell of this place, she knew how this sun felt on her back and in her long, ashy hair. Her champagne eyes scanned the horizon, searching for who she knew would be there. For as well as she knew where she was, there was a smell in the air that she didn't recognize._

_It wasn't a bad smell by any means, it was heavy and rustic like a rainstorm. It chilled her face and caught in her throat. The smell made her tongue taste like dirt and her fingers clammed up against the new sense. She continued her pace down the shoreline, uneasiness stirring and then settling in her core as she started to notice that it wasn't just the smell that was different. Her hair whipped around her face and waist in the balmy breeze that had quickly turned into a raging wind. As she drew nearer to the only thing she could count on being familiar here, a chill wrapped around her shoulders. It squeezed her chest and made her shiver, her teeth started to chatter against her small jaw shaking her whole body. The pale girl pressed on, a silvery smear moving along the vast landscape, limited to travelling the shore endlessly until she found her mark. As she moved forward the inclement weather became worse, the howling wind swirled the sand around her ankles into her face and eyes. Raindrops started to fall from the sky, and big, black clouds moved in, cloaking her with their intensity. As she started to lose hope, her round orbs settled on him, blush irises reflected the blackness of his cloak, even from a great distance like the one that laid between them. _

_He was far from her tucked away in a small cove below and thrashing around as if he were fighting an enemy she couldn't yet see. That much she could tell, but how long it would take to get to him was anyone's guess. The dreamscape was not forgiving to the people unfortunate enough to be sucked into its belly. She knew she would reach him eventually, but what felt like days here was hours in the waking world and she knew if she stayed here that long her life in the waking world would be in danger. Instead she opted to perch herself atop a nearby sand dune, but the climb was tricky. Sand crawled up her nose and pricked at her eyes as she clambered to the top, it scraped at her skin as she fortified herself to crest the slippery mountain. They almost never reached each other in these dreams, she'd heard his voice only a handful of times and felt his touch even less. Somehow, though, she knew he would come for her, he had to, he was her only hope._

_With all the strength she had, she mustered a yell, "HELLO!", but the word floated through the sand and wind like a feather, barely breaking the swoosh of noise around her. Despite that, she saw from a distance his head perk up and he turned deep pools of sorrow and conflict toward her. She felt herself waking and so before it was too late her request poured itself out of her lips, and she prayed her dreams would carry it to him as she faded away. _

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_ He had sat in this cove for what felt like a lifetime, the voices that plagued him screaming at him to wake. There was work to be done, he was the commander of the First Order, he did not have time to dream, and yet he did. He sat there watching the ocean drift and crash, hoping that she may rise from the water to pull him away from his tantamount tasks in the waking world. Kylo thought that maybe if he waited long enough he could steal away with her for a fleeting moment. They always were, their moments, fleeting by nature. Sometimes they wouldn't even find each other in the dreamscape, but he always knew she was there. Other times she was right in front of him, but he could only reach out far enough to brush the tips of his fingers against her cool skin before he'd wake. The force didn't work the same way here, he didn't feel the same pull of good and bad, there was just a pull to her. He could never quite feel where it was pulling from though, and he had been satisfied by that intrigue for a while, but now he had to find her. _

_ He was determined that he wouldn't leave the dreamscape this time until he had learned her name, there was a lot of power in a name, and if nothing else it would affirm to him that she was real and not a hazy image created by his affection starved mind. Long, thin hands raked themselves through his hair as the worry that she may never show poisoned his blood. A cold bolt of rage charged through him at that thought, and before he could stop himself he was kicking and thrashing away at the area around him. Heavy feet rained down upon the sparse shrubbery and boulders around him with no mercy, leaving piles of dust and mangled green in their wake. Some of the large rocks he assaulted with his fists until his flesh was raw and bloodied, and he collapsed to his knees in a panting heap. The heavy weight of shame bore down on his shoulders, as it often did after he lost his temper, and he found himself willing his body to wake. _

_ Just as all hope seemed lost to him and his waking body started to stir, a whisper made its way to his ears. He barely heard it, but it brought him immediately back to the dreamscape, "Hello…" it had said, and he recognized her voice immediately. His eyes scanned the shore, the water, the air, but a dense storm had settled over most of the dreamscape and his eyes could only barely make out her shape before she disappeared again. He cursed and prepared himself to journey toward where she had been, but before he could steel himself another, more urgent whisper teased his senses and made his blood run cold._

"_Help me."_

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Arielia shot up in her bed, heavy, fast breaths wracking her body. She steadied herself and smoothed the back of her small hand across her sweat soaked brow. Her body was weak, and tired, it wasn't very restful in the dreamscape if you weren't careful, and she definitely hadn't been careful. On shaking muscles, she pushed herself up out of bed, and padded across the cold, dirt floors of her masters hut. The chains around her ankles clanked violently as she set to making breakfast. She powered through the process, her mind too busy with other thoughts to focus too long on the task, and as she set the bowl of gruel down on the dusty kitchen table she couldn't help but wonder if he would come. Of course, another part of her wondered if he was real at all, and if he was that opened up a whole separate world of questions that she wasn't ready to answer. Before she could linger too long on her wonders, a set of heavy footsteps began shambling to the front of the hut. The gait was violent, and swaggered by malice, the man attached to it was no better.

As Beetlegeuse Borgeese rambled into the kitchen, the very space he occupied became putrid. He was a tall, grey alien with oozing folds and a nasty sneer. His countenance in general was more disgusting than intimidating, but Arielia knew better than to doubt the man's brutality.

"How are you this morning, master?" she asked through clenched teeth, willing herself to be polite so that he might reconsider the decision he had made no more than a week ago.

The man snarled and sneered at her, eyes narrowing in disbelief and disgust at her before he spat out, "Don't talk girl, it won't save you now. The First Order is coming to recruit slaves tomorrow afternoon and you're going with them. A pretty girl like you will be very valuable to the slave traders, I'm sure."

With that final comment he cackled at her, showing of his broken, green teeth. Arielia swallowed hard and relented, she knew this man well enough to know begging would only earn her a beating. She tried to comfort herself, nothing could be as bad as BB, she'd told herself, but even she didn't believe that. She had heard the horror stories about The First Order, how the pricked and chipped and poked you until you didn't remember who you were. That was her worst fear, she didn't have anything left to lose except herself and she wasn't willing to let go of that so easily. She believed in the boy on the beach, he had always been there in her dreams, and she hoped he would be there when she needed him most.

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Kylo Ren awoke to the sound of airlocks hissing open, without thought his red lightsaber was glowing in his hand, dousing the room in a menacing light. What greeted him was the alarmed face of General Hux who, to his credit, cleared his throat cooly and addressed his Commander with grace.

"My lord, there are issues to be addressed and the council requests your honorable presence," the ginger haired man said, almost robotically, Kylo Ren grimaced at how numb the young general had become.

"Tell the council to figure it out, I have a personal matter to attend to," Ren replied in a clipped, almost absent tone, his mind swimming on a beach instead of being focused on what the General was saying to him. Hux took a moment to register what his superior had said to him, blinking his eyes a few times before regaining his composure.

"Sir," he started, counting his way through what surely would prove to be a difficult conversation, "I must advise you to attend this meeting. The council will not tolerate these games much longer."

Kylo Ren needed no time to think, he pushed himself to his feet strong muscles rippling with the effort. Even in nothing but his underwear, Kylo Ren looked absolutely intimidating as he approached the slender redhead.

"Tell the council I will get there if I please, the Commander bows to no one. Now get out," the young force user gritted out, trying his best to keep his wits about him. His energy was running wild, but before Kylo Ren could raise his hackles any further, Hux chose to make a hasty exit through the airlock he'd used to enter. The black haired boy breathed out a sigh of frustration, knocked a few things off the top of his dressing unit and fell backwards onto his bed.

_"Help me."_

Those words echoed in his head, so quiet, so desperate, and worst of all so unhelpful. He had no idea where to even start unpacking her plea, how could he help her when he didn't even know her name? He didn't know where to find her, or how to begin, the only thing he did know was what she looked like. Kylo's eyes fell shut while he imagined her, the first thing that came was her hair, long and ash blonde, always in a braid. He wondered whether it was curly or straight when it was down, but his thoughts quickly wandered. Where the hair stopped, her hips started, they were round, and fully supported by strong thighs and calves. She worked hard he could see that because her feet and hands soon appeared. They were small and delicate, but dirty and calloused, her nails were broken and torn, but it didn't take away from the femininity they possessed. Atop her hips was short torso, not thin, but athletic with a bosom he refused to fantasize about. A long neck led to a small, almost angelic face. It was worn by time and sun, pale skin cracked by heat, but her lips were full and her eyes shone inhumanly up at him, amber-pink and sparkling.

Kylo Ren stopped that pattern of thought in its tracks, reeling his mind back to the task at hand. He had to find the girl from his dreams and bring her back here, but first he had to find out who she was and what she needed help with. If he had any hope of accomplishing the things piling up in front of him, he needed to ensure his crew was en route to D'Qar after a quick stop to visit Otara VII. The junker girl was headed to the Resistance base on D'Qar the last he had heard, and his crew was due to round up slaves on the small planet adjacent to it, he could kill two birds with one stone if he played his cards right. That would satisfy the council and give him more time to explore his obsession with the pale girl. He jumped from the bed again and this time headed for his closet, he quickly threw on his black cowl and a draping cloak before gliding to the cockpit to make his intentions known.

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Arielia wasted no time on her tasks. She scrubbed the walls of the hut from dust, emptied the nerf pens and hung all the clothes to dry by sunset. Her back and arms ached from the effort, but as she sat on the hilltop behind her hut prison and watched the sun dip below the horizon she found it within herself to smile. She massaged her chained ankles and thought about the challenges she would face in the coming months. In her heart she knew she would never give herself up to the First Order, but her mind told her that many people had felt that way before her.

Somewhere, deeper inside her head, Arielia could hear a voice that told her not to resist. It was a soft voice, comforting and sweet like cocoa. As she listened, she began to feel more at ease, and before she could stop herself she was questioning why she wouldn't give in. She had never possessed anything, or had anyone that cared about her. She had been a slave her whole life, or at least for the part of her life she could remember, and if she had a chance to be something more through the First Order, she wondered why she wouldn't jump at the chance. As soon as the thought train ended, she shook the notion off and remembered why. The First Order was bad, they committed war crimes, they sent people on the run, the destroyed entire communities. They were the villains in this story, not the heros, and she didn't want any part of that.

Finally, she lifted her weary body from the ground and began to carry herself inside. As if he had planned it, BB was yelling for her to "kriffing come inside". It was time for her nightly lock up, and time for her to journey into the dreamscape to beg her dark knight to save her. Arielia stumbled through the front door and her grotesque master pushed her the rest of the way to her bedroom. His warty hands rubbed against her skin as he forced her down onto the thin mattress and brought a chain up from the floor to hook firmly to the one already around her ankles.

"Sweet dreams, scum. It'll be the last night you'll sleep this well," he gurgled at her, spreading his lips into a menacing, green smile. She normally wasn't scared of BB, she had learned to live with his abuse and beatings, but this silence and chill about him sent a spark of fear to her core. Beetlegeuse was not a subtle man by any means, and the eerie withdrawn nature of his behavior was sending shivers down her spine. The slimy man finally left, and after a few moments she settled in and pulled a thin piece of muslin up over her body. Shaking and miserable, Arielia let her eyes fall closed and she fell into a restless sleep.

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The day had long been spent by the time Kylo Ren made it back to his chambers. The glowing numbers in the air read 02:00 and his heart grew heavy at the realization that he'd only have six hours to find the girl who haunted him in what seemed like an endless dreamscape. It was tricky and abstract in the dreamscape, and even when he felt most focused he struggled to find her. He definitely did not feel focused now, his mind was flooded with things and emotions he couldn't explain. There wasn't a question in his mind of whether she was real anymore, she was very real and she needed his help. He wasn't sure why but he felt compelled to give it to her, he had written off helping the innocent a long time ago but this girl was different. He didn't know her name and yet he knew everything about her from a few moments they had shared through the lens of a dream. None of his worries seemed to matter, though, he was determined to meet the silver wisp that bounded around his head. There was something in him pulling at his very being to find her, and while it wasn't enough to distract him from his mission he was willing to entertain the idea that this girl might be the answer to the ever evolving puzzle that was his inner world. When he saw her in the dreamscape, everything seemed to stop. The force, his thoughts, his heart, all of it silent.

As he stripped down and climbed into his bed, he let himself believe that when he saw her in the waking world, it would have the same effect. He drifted to sleep peacefully with a promise burning in his chest that he would find her again and this time he would bring her back with him.


	2. Almost There

**AN:Chapter 2 is here! I will be posting pretty much everyday until we are done here, so if you feel so inclined give us a follow so you can stay caught up! If you like this story or even if you don't please leave a review! Hearing what you all have to say helps me improve my future chapters. Thanks for checking this story out, enjoy!**

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

* * *

Chapter 2:Almost There

_ Arielia arrived first, she could feel it when she first stepped into the dreamscape that she was alone. The dark figure she often met there came with a presence and she didn't feel it yet. She wasn't in the same place she'd been last time, instead she was beached on a small sandbar about 20 leagues from the shore. The land around her was lush and green, but entirely too quiet. She couldn't hear the waves crashing from here and it made her feel more uneasy about her plan. Nevertheless she resolved to follow through with what she wanted to accomplish, even if she had to sleep until it was time to go to the slave auction she would come face to face with the man she'd placed all her faith in. In the meantime she pulled some thick, green grass from around her and began to weave it into a basket. Her mind needed to be occupied to keep her from acknowledging the anxiety that quelled in her belly. _

_**What if he says no? **__The thought rang through her head over and over again. This made her fingers work more viciously at the grass basket. He couldn't say no, she knew he wouldn't. Surely he felt the same pull to her that she felt to him, he must feel for her the way she felt for him, right? He would save her, just as she would save him if the situation were reversed. She didn't know how she knew, but she did and she wasn't about to let fear get the best of her. Her fingers moved with the grass almost angrily now, as she muttered under her breath about how everything was going to be fine. _

_ "You'll get callouses that way," a distant voice called, "You should wear gloves."_

_There was no mistaking that temperate, deep tone for anyone else and Arielia immediately scanned her surroundings for him. It didn't take long for her gaze to find him, standing on the opposite shoreline, a dark spot smeared across the white sand. _

_ "Can you get callouses in your dreams?" she called back, cracking a smile. She knew she should focus on her goal, but he was so close and she allowed herself the luxury of enjoying it. _

_ "I'm not sure," he replied, shrugging his huge shoulders, "But if you can, your hands will be sore in the morning." He was happy to see her, his mind was quiet, he wanted to keep talking but the pull inside him wouldn't let him waste anymore time. She was standing so close and he didn't dare waste this opportunity, "I need to ask you something!"_

_ Arielia hung on his words and admired him. He __**was **__admirable, after all; tall and thick, manly, he looked like a handcrafted statue instead of a boy. Yet, when she watched the way his black curls fluttered around his face, she saw his youth. His sharp jaw and full lips tried to hide it from her, but his smile gave it away. Her knight was beautiful in almost every way, his body, his face they all looked like they'd been handpicked by the gods. There was more to him than beauty though, she could see it in his eyes, lingering there just below the surface of his dark pools. His eyes were sultry, and frightening at times, murderous even, not evil, but not entirely good either. When she looked into his eyes she saw a scared little boy, she saw betrayal and hurt, she saw conflict. His eyes made him dark in her mind, and so he was her dark knight. She was so lost in thought that she almost missed what he said, but she caught herself in the nick of time. What could he possibly want to ask her? She was nobody, and he was..well if she judged by his armor and the way he carried himself, he was somebody. Still she obliged him, what she was about to ask him certainly deserved that much._

_ "What is it?" she yelled back, an urgency in her tone, "I actually have something to ask you, too!"_

_ Kylo's heartbeat was fast in his chest, it hammered against his body and made his knees feel woozy and weak. He wasn't familiar with this feeling, he felt bubbly, as if he'd drank to much honeyed wine. Finally the moment had come, he would know her name, he would know who she was, it was almost too much to fathom and so he didn't fathom it any longer. He didn't care what she wanted to ask him, as long as she answered him, and before he could find a more graceful way to say he blurted, "What is your name?"_

_ Arielia almost couldn't believe what she was hearing, the beautiful man standing on the shore wanted to know her name. He cared who she was. It made her forget her troubles for a moment._

_ "My name is Arielia!" she bellowed back, quickly trying to redirect the conversation where she needed it to go, "Normally I would ask your name, but I don't have much time and I really need your help!"_

_ Arielia...it was beautiful, light and airy, it matched her perfectly. He nearly lost his focus until he heard her calling to him for help once more. He was grateful she was foregoing his name for now. If she did ask he wasn't sure what he would tell her, but he didn't have time to deliberate with himself. He shook his racing thoughts off and made a step toward the vast ocean that separated him from the one person in the galaxy he wanted to be near. His dark eyes snapped back to her, and he stopped his thoughts from wandering._

_ "Tell me where you are, I will come for you,"he said without a second thought, stepping into the water as if he could reach her then, "But you have to tell me where first."_

_ He sounded almost desperate to her, and it pulled on her heart. Why would this stranger care for her enough to sound so desperate? She discarded the thought and tried to remember where she was. Something was waking her up, and she was losing her train of thought in the dreamscape, but before she did, she collected herself and pressed forward in her plea. _

_ "I'm in a small farming settlement..I need your help!" she yelled back as she faded into the landscape._

_ "No!" he yelled, running forward and making the water splash up around his ankles and legs, "No, I need more than that. What is happening? Will you be safe until I get there? Arielia where are you?"_

_ Kylo Ren splashed toward her, but she faded quickly. Her voice crashed over him as she yelled the last of her plea and stopped him in his tracks._

_ "I only have until this afternoon! Please help me!"_

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He woke up in a cold sweat, lungs swollen and painful in his chest. The afternoon he had until the afternoon and he still had no idea where she was at. Misplaced anger fueled him and he found himself in a fury, slashing and swiping at anything within arms reach. He toppled his dresser, smashed the mirrors in his room, he left no corner untouched by fury. Finally, Kylo Ren found himself sinking to the ground surrounded by the aftermath of his outburst and still no closer to finding the mystery girl. Before he had too much time to pity himself the airlock to his chambers hissed open and spindly General Hux stood before him.

As usual the man didn't miss a beat when he saw the state of the room, he simply marked down on his tablet that the room would need repaired and moved on. He stepped around the broken glass and splintered wood and kneeled to the ground to come face to face with his leader, a look crossing his angelic features that almost suggested his disbelief that this man would rule the galaxy one day.

"Sir," he started gently, ticking the top of his mouth with his tongue as he tried to find a way to address the bedraggled dark master, "We have landed on Otara VII. The crew is preparing for this afternoons slave trade and it would be most helpful if you could grace us with your all knowing presence."

Kylo Ren was a lot of things, but he wasn't an idiot. He could sense Hux' doubt, he knew the man expected him not to be there but was forced to ask him anyway. To an extent, Ren despised the man, and to another he felt jealous of him. Hux always seemed to have it together, in the face of danger, in the face of Kylo Ren, he never lost his cool. Kylo didn't know what it felt like to be in control, and he envied Hux that. Of course he knew things that others didn't, Ren knew what other people thought, he knew their deepest desires, he even knew how to control others, but he didn't know what it felt like to be in control of himself. He shook those thoughts from his head, and stood up from where he was folded up on the floor.

"I will be down shortly, ready the men for my entrance," he replied lowly, not looking at Hux but rather looking through him. The redhead managed a surprised expression before he nodded his head.

"Very good sir," he responded, quickly backing out of the room before the power in front of him changed its mind, "I will round everybody up and see them to the bridge."

The airlock opened with one last breath and Hux was gone, and for a moment Kylo let his walls fall down. Hot, bitter tears rolled down his face, not for the girl but for himself. He was frustrated and confused, he'd lost track of the Jedi witch he was meant to capture and it seemed like the only thing he was able to accomplish was feeling sorry for himself. He had let himself be consumed by the hunt for the silver wisp, but he couldn't let that get in his way anymore. With shaking limbs and blotched face he stood and resolved himself to walking the path he already knew. Kylo wiped his face furiously and prepared himself to meet his men. This would be good for him, and as he slipped his helmet on over his face the emotions he felt before left him. He planned not only to oversee the slaving on Otara VII, but to play a direct part in it. He would show the citizens there who he was and in turn their slaughter would remind him who he was meant to become.

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She had been awake for hours now, but BB had not come to retrieve her. She was stuck there, ankles chained to the floor and she was sure that her time to escape before the auction was running out. Arielia felt completely hopeless. How could the man from her dreams possibly find her if she was stuck inside a dingy hut in the middle of nowhere? She sighed and thrashed her head dramatically against her pillow. If this was the way she was meant to die then she had decided so bet it. She hoped that her parents would be proud of the way she handled the situation, but she guessed she would never know. It didn't matter, they had never been there for her and she didn't need them, what she needed was a miracle.

Arielia laid there for quite a while before BB finally shambled his way to her door. He was unusually quiet when he opened up the door, though, and his kriff eating grin was replaced by solemn stoicism. He didn't jeer her or traunt her, he barely even looked at her, and somehow that made her feel worse. Now she knew she was in trouble. If BB was afraid, then she knew she was done for. Her heart leapt into her throat and as he unchained her ankles she found herself falling to her knees.

"Please..don't do this," she grovelled, she felt disgusted with herself but it was like she was being forced, she couldn't stop the panic that flooded through her veins and made her muscles feel cold. Arielia stole a glance up at him, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall, but they did and with them her last shred of dignity fell, too.

"I will work harder than any of the other slaves, I will eat half as much, I won't ever leave this room except to do my daily tasks. Just please, please don't do this."

The craggy alien looked down at her, and just for that moment a flash of pity ran across his face. A man who had beaten and bruised her, a man who'd let her know many times that she was nothing to him, that man felt sorry for her and it made her blood run cold. BB took a long, deep breath and frowned down at her.

"Begging doesn't look good on you, scum," he mumbled out, crossing his arms over his chest, "You're already the best I have, and that's why it has to be you."

With those last words he gave her a harsh shove forward, and marched her out of the hut. She realized then that this auction wasn't for money, BB was _**giving **_her to the First Order. Asking him why wouldn't do her any good, she knew he would shut her down but she had her suspicions. The First Order was known for pillaging, they were known for murder, and they were known for their powerful Commander Kylo Ren. They weren't known for generously giving the townspeople money in exchange for a few farm hands. She concluded that this must be a transaction of a more sinister nature and the implications of that thought made her feel wobbly on her feet. If she wasn't enough the First Order would take more, and she knew where that led; Fire, destruction, chaos, and suddenly she found herself praying that they would like her.


	3. First Impressions

**AN: Thank you guys so much for the follows/favorites! I am having so much fun writing this story that I am having a hard time stopping. Leave a review if you feel so inclined, it really helps! This chapter was inspired by four songs that your girl played on repeat: **_**Broken Crown **_**by Mumford and Sons, **_**Drumming Song **_**by Florence and the Machine, **_**The Devil's Backbone **_**by The Civil Wars, and **_**Kingdom Come **_**by The Civil Wars. **

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 3:First Impressions

He had never felt like this before a raid. His body was hot and the very tips of his fingers tingled in anticipation. This was the focus he needed, this was his chance to find balance. He would not let it slip through his fingers. If it took all of his strength, he would find the release he needed here. His chest was tight with expectation as the heavy door of the Upsilon opened, he emerged from the hissing smoke like a python.

The townspeople were waiting there for him, trembling and baited. He didn't even have to work for it if he didn't want to, but he wanted to. Everything moved in slow motion around him as he stepped forward and away from the ship. His heavy, black boots crunched the coarse sand beneath them and every pop sent a jolt of electricity through his body. Hux followed behind him diligently, a hoard of stormtroopers following diligently behind him.

"Round up the useful ones," he quipped at the ginger, the voice modulator in his helmet punctuated his words inhumanly, "Then kill the rest."

Kylo Ren wasted no time, in a swirl he left Hux to carry out his bidding. He had no time to listen to the General's complaints, the darkside had no time for the worries of sheep. Like a wraith he moved across the dusty landscape, scanning the area for a place to wait for the massacre. His blood pumped in his ears, and his vision was spotty through the eyeholes of his mask, but he didn't stop. He marched around the back of the crowd, approving and pushing aside stormtroopers and slaves alike, his mind was frenzied and ablaze melting his judgment and blurring the world. Finally he convinced his legs to quit and he stopped himself at the farside of where his troops had posted up. From here he could see the trading going on and he let his mind be at peace with that for a second while he evaluated the citizens.

Mostly women, he noticed, not very useful to him but he was sure his men would appreciate it. They needed the company, and he did not. All of the people stood tense and fearful, he observed the dirt caked to their bodies and the way their bones jutted out. He had never known hunger but he knew fear, and for a moment his heart lurched forward. These people were desperate, they would do anything to survive and that was exactly what the First Order preyed on. He wasn't distracted by their misfortune for long because farther away, along the horizon, his eyes caught sight of a latecomer.

First he saw a tall, scaly looking alien with a mean scowl forced on his face. He could see the fear from here though, and he was proud of it. His grandfather would be proud and he found himself being more and more connected to his mission. The multiple pulls in his mind had silenced for a moment and Kylo Ren emerged, strong and powerful. Any thought of the girl from his dreams or the Jedi he'd soon put an end to had left him. leaving only the cold darkness in his heart. It pumped ice through his veins and cooled his burning emotions, he shed the human skin he'd been wearing and let the leader he was becoming take its place. Ben Solo was locked tightly away in the recesses of this more focused man's mind, his pleas and light dulled by the betrayal and hate that consumed him.

That all fled from him and the wind left his black sails as the alien crested, though. Behind the green thing, led by a long chain attached to her ankles was a silver wisp. Kylo's breath caught in his throat as Ben strangled up from his bowels; pain, confusion, and need joined him coated in bile and sick. In an instant, he was moving toward them, the hilt of his light saber clutched tightly in his hands.

_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

Her feet ached with every step she took. The chains around her ankles had worn a rope of welts and bruises on her and each time they brushed her skin it sent a wave of pain up her legs. Arielia had walked for what seemed like forever through the desert of Otara VII and even the tough soles of her calloused feet were not enough to protect her from the fatigue of such a trek. She'd had no water or food, but she had watched BB consume enough for five people so she supposed that counted for something. Her muscles screamed for her to stop, but the sharp tugs BB gave to the chain that attached her to him forced her to keep going. She wondered if maybe the First Order would be gone before they got there, but she knew that was wishful thinking.

After what seemed like forever she could finally make out the distant shape of landed ships. There were at least four vessels and even that made her heart beat faster. She had only seen one ship land here before, and the sight of four armored cruisers was almost more than she could handle. The ship grounded in the center was arguably the most impressive; its wingspan doubled the others and the black metal sparkled in the sunlight as if to remind the world of its presence. She couldn't make out much else, the people looked like little ants, terrified, trapped only comfort offered to her was that they were afraid instead of dead. Her throat croaked and scraped and her skin felt like it was on fire, but she reminded herself that they were almost there and all of this would be over soon. Arielia tried her best to stay positive but her situation appeared more grim than before. Now she was fatigued and broken, it would take a week before the muscle in her legs recovered from her journey, and she didn't want to think about how dehydrated she was. It seemed almost inevitable that she wasn't going to survive the encounter, but she kept her head up high, holding on to her hope that the man from the beach would come for her like he promised.

As they made their approach BB seemed to increase his pace, an unseen force fueled him forward and Arielia was unwilling drug forward. Her weary eyes almost didn't catch what it was that drove him forward until the massive black figure that bounded toward them was half way there. Her wide eyes opened and her mouth started to form a protest.

"No," she managed to whisper out, the strain causing the walls of her throat to smash against one another painfully, but BB just jerked her forward more emphatically.

"Shut up, girl," he spat, but it wasn't with malice, instead his words were coated with uncertainty. The crippling realization that he neither knew nor was going to ask why the masked murderer was descending upon them washed over her like a nightmare and she tried with all her might to pull back against the chains. She wasn't going to just let him hand her over to the most dangerous man in the galaxy, she wouldn't let him, but her fading strength and battered body betrayed her. BB gave one more sharp tug on her bonds and she came tumbling feet over head, her body splayed out by his feet like a fresh born fawn.

"Do you want to get us both killed, child?" he whispered fiercely at her, milky eyes glowering down upon her. It made her feel like a child and she shook her head, pulling her full bottom lip in her mouth. Tears burned her eyes again, but before she could let them fall the black booted feet of a giant came into her line of sight.

She let her champagne orbs wander up his legs slowly, trailing in contemplative fear to his strong waist, then to his wide shoulders before they finally settled on the fearsome mask that covered his face. Arielia dared not to move, she didn't make a sound, instead she stared at him equal parts of her amazed and frightened. Even when the imposing figure drew his mighty red blade and slashed his way through her master she didn't take her eyes off of him. BB's body collapsed down on the ground next to her and Kylo Ren sheathed his sword. He hadn't let his gaze drift from her either, and she noticed, it made her mouth drier than it had been and the tears ran down her face freely, her pride long forgotten.

"Do you know who I am?" his modulated voice demanded of her, and though she couldn't see his face she imagined it was expectant.

Arielia nodded her head furiously, but the words wouldn't come out, instead she stared at him open mouthed and weeping.

"Who?" he asked reaching a hand down to pull her up to her feet by her shoulder, and steady her in front of him before clutching on to the front of her rags tightly, "Who am I?"

"Kylo Ren," she stammered out in a breath of fear, "Y-you're Kylo Ren, sir. Commander of the Knights of Ren and future Supreme Leader of the galaxy." Arielia hoped if she appealed to his sense of pride he would let her go, he'd unfurl her clothes from his threatening grasp and she'd live a few minutes more. It worked and she collapsed back to her sore knees, back heaving with her effort to stay calm. When she looked up again Kylo Ren had turned his back to her and she saw him give some sort of signal to the men across the field.

"Yes, I am," he replied curtly before turning on his heel and whipping her up again. This time he held her up to his chest, and spun her around to press her shoulder blades to his armor. It pinched the sensitive skin there and he snaked a gloved hand up to grab her face and turn it toward the crowd of people and storm troopers. She knew the threat of the First Order, she knew the risk of being traded to them, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened. By the time she had blinked her eyes and overcome the shock of being ripped from the ground by the most feared war criminal in the galaxy, everyone she knew was dead. Blaster shots rang out and stung her ears from where she stood, she heard people screaming, she saw a few trying to run and before her heart could explode from anguish that inhuman voice whispered against her hair.

"You would be wise to remember that, wisp," it said before her world went black.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

He had reacted, that was all Kylo Ren knew how to do was react, and in the moment he felt sure of what he was doing. Now as carried her body back toward the Upsilon through the corpses of people she knew, maybe people she loved, he was overcome by uncertainty. Like a teetering boulder Kylo Ren was pushed back over the edge of the force and his mind was burdened by opposing voices. He had no time to answer General Hux' questions about why he called off the raid or why he gave the signal to kill them all instead of weeding through those who might have been worth the First Order's resources. Time was even more finite for the prying gazes of the storm troopers and crew members as the lumbering commander whooshed the pale girl onto the ship. His patience was shot and with a growl he turned around to face the onlookers.

"Go back to yours tasks," he barked menacingly, dangerously close to losing the last bit of self control he had, "NOW!"

Suddenly people started to filter away like water out of a sieve. They scattered, unanimously in agreement that curiosity was not worth their lives. Kylo quickly went back to his task, marching toward the medbay determined to see the wisp healed. The thought of her staring up at him in fear and awe crossed his mind and left a bitter sweet taste in his mouth. Somewhere deep inside a voice insisted she would never forgive him, but he pushed that voice away. He didn't need her forgiveness, just her compliance and that he would certainly get. Ben Solo or not, no one had ever told the dark figure no, and if they did it never lasted long. He waved the airlock to the medbay open, and stepped into the sterile, white environment. A few medics lingered there, along with injured soldiers Kylo himself had deemed worth saving. It took no time for him to decide their lives were no longer meaningful to him and as he laid the silver girl down on a cot, his attention was turned toward the medical team.

"You will see these soldiers placed elsewhere, I do not care where," he said slowly, making sure they understood they had no room to argue, "All of your attention will be focused on this girl. You will not breathe a word of her existence to anyone. When she is healed I want her brought to my personal quarters and you will forget that any of this ever happened."

The medics didn't argue, instead they immediately went to work clearing the room out, hoping he'd let them live. He knew he wouldn't, he couldn't compromise the wisp like that, but for now he would let them believe they were safe. As the airlock to the medbay hissed shut behind him, he set forth a plan to clean up the evidence of the day, knowing that what he couldn't solve with words he would erase with his power.


	4. The Awakening

**AN: Wow! I can't believe we made it to chapter 4 already. The format from here on out will be relatively cohesive. Since Ky and Ari are now in the same place it just makes sense to me to stop separating their POV. If you hate that let me know and I will go back to the old way. Fair warning that from this point on there is a chance that chapters may contain abusive content or behavior. I love Benji Cinnamonrollo, but he is a traumatized and angry little boy. It would be naive and irresponsible to gloss over how that might affect his personal life. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it! This chapter came to me while I listened to Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish. Literally listened to it the whole time 10/10 recommend. **

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 4:The Awakening

When she awoke it was with a scream stuck in her throat. The strangled sound was barely audible above the noise around her. Everything beeped and glowed where she was, it hurt her eyes to look at, but she beared through it to investigate her surroundings. Her head felt woozy, she wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but she couldn't remember going to the dreamscape. Just as she started to find her way through the haze the memories of the day came back to her. Sickness washed over her, filling her lungs and gut with dread. Her skin went cold and she tried to get up but realized it was no use; she was in a medipod. Arielia breathed heavily through her nose and willed her heart rate to slow. She would be fine, if she was in a medipod that meant they didn't want her dead she had no reason to worry.

Somehow the idea that Kylo Ren and his crew had a reason to keep her alive when they slaughtered her entire village didn't make Arielia feel any better. She struggled a bit more inside of the plastic tube and set off some sort of alarm above her. It screamed and flashed and she couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes despite her trembling heart; when it rained, it poured. After a little more squirming she was fully convinced she wasn't getting out on her own, and so she laid back down and tried to save her strength. She resolved to wait and see who would come to answer the siren's call, and for the first time since she could remember, Arielia felt at peace with the unknown. At least whoever showed up here would want to help her, or even if they didn't want to, they had to. She wasn't afraid for her life in the medipod and she breathed a much needed sigh of relief.

A long, narrow face appeared in the window above her, and she audibly thanked the stars that it wasn't a masked killer or a stormtrooper. In fact, this person wasn't intimidating at all. Their face looked troubled and hard, but not frightening, and she found security in the worried way their red brows knitted together as they looked in on her.

"You're awake," they said, their voice muffled by the insulated walls that surrounded her. She tried to talk but her throat still felt full of gravel and soot. After a few moments of silence, the voice addressed her again, "That's good. The commander will be pleased to hear it. If you give me a moment I will help you out of this contraption."

"Don't you know how?" she forced back from her raw throat in awe. This man was a medic, was he not? If he wasn't what was he doing checking on her in the medbay.

"No, unfortunately I don't, but don't worry I've been told I'm a fast learner," the decidedly male tone quipped back before his red hair moved from her line of sight.

"How don't you know?" Arielia asked, straining her voice painfully to force the words out louder, "Aren't you a medic?"

"I'm afraid not. The commander saw fit to execute all medics on board this morning," farther away this time, the man responded cooly, unphased by the morbidity of his answer

, "Couldn't begin to imagine why."

Arielia thought she detected a hint of sarcasm in the man's tone, but she decided not to linger on it. People had died that morning and he was insinuating it was somehow her fault and that didn't sit well with her. He must have pressed the right combination of buttons because soon the pod was whirring open and she was free to sit up. Her legs swung over the sides, determined to plant her feet so she could give this weasel a piece of her mind. As her bare toes made contact with the cool tile floor a wave of pain throbbed through her body and made her vision go blank. Her vendetta was quickly forgotten as she tried to restabilize herself and the man came to her in a hurry. He sighed as he touched her arm gently and laid her back down. His gloves were soft and supple on her skin, nothing like the thick, coarse gloves Kylo Ren had touched her with. She got her first real look at him as he leaned over her to check a monitor behind her head.

"I thought you weren't a medic?" with a wry smirk, she inquired, leaning up on her arm just enough to see his face.

He was lithe, and gaunt, she could tell he didn't sleep much because the pale skin under his eyes was marred with dark rings. She thought he was handsome, girlish and fair perhaps, but handsome. He processed her words and an almost smirk touched his lips.

"I am not," he said again, catching her gaze with his own, "But I know that an adult female shouldn't be losing blood pressure when she tries to sit up. You have a lot of recovering to do still, and I won't be the one responsible if that doesn't happen. So just lay here and relax, I will send someone with food and something to drink shortly and then we will see about getting you out of here."

Arielia's very soul cried out as the man turned to make a swift exit, and she tried to lurch forward to him only to be met with another surge of pain. Once more he descended upon her and pushed her back down in the medipod. He didn't give her a chance to speak, instead when she tried he raised his hand at her and looked at her with a grave glimmer in his eye. Even if he didn't say anything at all, the look on his face told her everything she needed to know. When he finally spoke his words were short and punctuated, and they left no room for a response.

"I need you to understand that your well being is as important to me as my own right now," he said as he lowered his hand to her wrist and squeezed it tightly,"Please, for both our sakes, stay in bed until I come back."

He got up and left her then, moving swiftly to the door and then out. She hadn't even had the chance to learn his name before he shut her down, and the relief she had felt earlier was quickly being replaced by hopelessness. There was no one on this ship that cared for her more than they feared Kylo Ren, and there was no one who feared Kylo Ren more than her. Arielia was doomed, and in her heart she knew this was the end for her, there was no making it out of this one. Regardless of what Kylo Ren wanted from her, she knew she would never be the same once he got it. She knew her biggest fear was coming true, and soon who she knew herself to be would be gone, changed forever and damaged. The idea made way for grief and pity to bloom in her heart, and she tucked her knees tightly against her stomach before she let the tears flow. They came easier this time, heavy, fat tears than ran down her face and left little droplets on her clothes. Her chest heaved with the effort and every breath hurt, but she couldn't stop. The dam had broken and every tear she had suppressed fell from her eyes. Hot salt water burned her face, and made her nose turn red, but it didn't stop her. When she had finally sniffled all her tears away, there was a droid whirring through the airlock with a simple meal of plain bread, honey, and water. Arielia cautiously took the offering, half expecting the droid to reach out and grab her. It didn't grab her and she leaned up on her arm gently to eat her meal.

The bread was what she expected, dry and hard, a sacrifice you make to travel the galaxy in a starship, but the honey was delicious. Honey was a rare treat and despite the quality she found it to be exquisite. Sticky golden strands stuck to her teeth and lips, and for a moment too short she forgot that she was in critical condition on a First Order ship. The meal left her feeling more fortified than ever, and she finally mustered the strength to sit up and gently rest her feet on the ground. Arielia wasn't quite bold enough to get up, half fearing she might pass out, and half fearing the ginger man with wild eyes who held her accountable for their lack of medical staff would come rushing in to give her an eerie lecture.

Once she was sat upright she brought the glass of water to her lips and drank ravenously, when she'd finished it she found herself still wishing for more. Arielia thought she'd be parched for the rest of her life, there was no amount of water that could possibly quench the thirst she'd built up. Instead of her saharan mouth and lips, she tried to think of something else, but the only thought she could muster was Kylo Ren's hand squeezing her jaw until she had been sure it would break. She thought of all the people he'd murdered, all the people she watched die, but she shook it off and buried those thoughts deep inside of herself. She wasn't ready to face them yet, and didn't know if she ever would be, she brought her hands up to her face and swore she could still feel the heat where his fingers had laid.

As if simply thinking of the devil could muster him up the red haired man from earlier came scurrying through the door followed quickly by the commander.

"Is she ready to leave the medbay, General Hux?" he asked, wasting no time on formalities for her. She gave herself a minute to file the fiery man's name away, and then focused in on their interaction. It was clear that the power dynamic had shifted from the exchange she shared with General Hux earlier. All of his swagger and sarcasm had faded and was replaced by dutiful professionalism. It hid his trepidation well, but she could feel it in him, she could see that he was uncomfortable, and yet he managed to interact with Kylo Ren as if he was not afraid.

"No, sir, I do not think so. Her vitals have not yet stabilized. Without a proper medical staff it will be hard to determine the cause-" he was interrupted by a sharp pull on his vestments and before he was sure of what happened, he was being dragged across the room.

Hux' feet drug across the ground as he was forced face to mask with his superior. The modulator made even Kylo Ren's breathing sound menacing, and Hux swallowed hard as he stopped floating and dropped unceremoniously to the ground.

"No more medics. You will handle this," Ren said with a tone of finality, looking down at the crumpled, tiny man in front of him, "And if you don't I will personally break every bone in your body and then send them one by one to everyone who loves you. Now leave. If she cannot leave the medbay we will have to talk here."

"Yes sir, no need for that sir, I will take care of it," Hux stuttered out quickly before making a hasty exit, not looking back at her for even a moment.

Arielia couldn't blame him, if she had a chance to leave him there, she would take it. Kylo Ren stood before her, just as imposing as ever, but this time she steeled her fear of him. The tears still welled, but she held onto them and prepared herself to fight back if she had to.

"Do you know who I am yet?" the masked figure pondered at her, and she heard curiosity in his voice though she couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.

"I told you," Arielia replied, confusion and edge tempering her tone, "You are Kylo Ren. I don't understand this game if that's what it is."

"It's not a game," flippantly he replied, wandering aimlessly around the room, "You will know soon."

"Why don't you take off the mask and show me now?" she challenged, "If you want me to know you then let me see what you're hiding."

Kylo Ren didn't reply, not with words at least, a breathy chuckle escaped him and his teeth shone beneath the mask. Arielia was meek and uneducated, but she had spirit and to some degree that was respectable. He wasn't sure how he would tell her yet, and if he was honest with himself he was enjoying the control. The wisp that once consumed his mind was underneath his thumb and he liked watching her fight to escape. As he glowered down on her, though, he couldn't deny that his fondness of her didn't stop at her struggle. She was beautiful, as beautiful as she was in his dreams, and he melted beneath her gaze for one fleeting moment. He watched her ashy hair tickle the tops of her thighs, and wondered what it might feel like on his. His body felt warm, and the familiar pull she had on him started to play a melody on his heart strings. He wanted to gather her in his arms and tell her that he would fix everything, but he couldn't. Instead he swallowed the lump in his throat and moved forward to kneel beside the medipod.

"I will not hurt you," he said softly after a pregnant pause, and he reached out to brush one gloved finger along her silvery hair. He had to be sure it wouldn't fade away if he touched it, and when it didn't he murmured on, "If you obey me, if you understand why I have to do what I am doing right now, I will make sure you are well taken care of."

Arielia's head perked up for a second, making sure she had heard him right but she found herself frozen as his huge hand trailed delicately over her hair. In that moment the imposing figure that stood before her seemed a little smaller, and more tender, his touch still made her organs lurch from her body, however this touch felt different than the one he'd left her with before. In a way, his touch felt familiar to her and she let herself lean into it and enjoy the comfort while it lasted. She still held fear and doubt in her heart, she didn't know what he meant by obey or understand, but at least he was _**trying **_to ease her worried mind.

She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and finally said, "Thank you." Her heart felt no lighter having heard his mediocre pep talk, but her body certainly did. The tightness in her muscles gave way and she was finally able to stop the panic response that had wreaked havoc over her body. Arielia didn't feel safe by any means, but for some reason she believed that if she listened to him, he would keep her safe. The unknown of what listening to him meant still gnawed at her insides, but her faith that he would uphold his end of the bargain if she did helped to calm her rolling stomach.

As quickly as the tender moment appeared, it was gone and the man who had murdered everyone she'd ever known stood before her again. He didn't say goodbye or leave her with anymore comforting words. His exit was as hasty as his entrance had been, and her mind buzzed in a million different directions, but her aching bones reminded her that she needed to recover and the only way she could do that was to sleep. She stretched back out in her medipod and let her eyes fall closed, and it wasn't long before a fitful sleep haunted by a masked man consumed her.


	5. Recognition

**AN: Oh my gosh. I cannot believe we are a third of the way through this story. Chapter 5 is here folks! I hope you all are enjoying it. I certainly am! Today's chapter is brought to you by the lovely tunes **_**Somewhere in the Woods **_**by Hozier and **_**Heavy in Your Arms **_**by Florence and the Machine. There are allusions to some naughty things and light self harm(we are talking minimal here, but it deserves a warning none the less) in this chapter so if you aren't comfortable with that just skip it! **

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 5:Recognition

The day had been long and heart wrenching. Kylo Ren had spent most of the morning tying up loose ends to make sure his plan for the wisp wouldn't be thwarted. He'd then struggled through the afternoon, delegating and completing tasks for their upcoming attack on the resistance. For now he had left them stationed on Otara VII, and he felt the dangerous tension of bored soldiers suffocating him as he wrenched through the day. Seeing the wisp didn't ease his mind like it usually did, instead it set his frontal lobe on fire with possibility. Her empty, tearful eyes had pierced into him like daggers, and he found himself coming away from the exchange wounded and unsure.

His steps were heavy as he clodded down the corridor toward his chambers. The glowing hollow clocks on the walls around him read 03:30 and he audibly groaned at that. Another night's rest was lost to him, and with everything that plagued his mind he had been looking forward to shutting his brain off for the night. What he hoped would be his final encounter with the Jedi girl was fast approaching, and he had much to decide about the snow haired beauty he left in the medical bay. Too many thoughts plagued his broken, confused mind and as the airlock to his bedroom opened he ripped his helmet off and threw it inside. A guttural roar clawed its way up his throat, and he threw his body into the wall, letting the crunch of metal and glass satiate his beastly rage. As he pulled himself away from the wall he once again spied the helmet and with a running start he kicked it and watched as it dinged off of the window port. The glass there fissured but it didn't break, and he felt even more enraged by that. With a frustrated huff he ripped his cowl off over his head, his shirt followed soon. As he threw his clothes into a pile he made his way across the sleeping room to the refresher unit.

Kylo Ren shed the last barrier between himself and the world, and brought his hand to the units controls. He programmed it to run as hot as it could and stepped in the sterile box, letting the steaming stream of water scald his back and chest. The burning water rushed over him until his skin was hot, red and finally numb, and he let himself be enraptured by the sting. Kylo pressed his forehead to the wall of the tub and continued to let the water wash away the day. Relief calmed through his muscles and allowed his mind to drift to Arielia once more, but this time he recalled a fonder memory. One where he wasn't the villain, he wasn't anybody he was just another person stranded in the senseless world of the dreamscape.

He could remember the interaction vividly, the beach had been clear and pink. It brought out the sparkle in her eyes and made him forget how sad she usually looked. They had laid side by side in the sand and looked up at the pastel sky. They didn't have to talk to one another, the brush of their shoulders and the peace between them had been enough. He remembered how smooth her skin had felt against his clothes, even through the coarse material he could tell it would have been like silk against his flesh. The conversation they did have had been brief, and it was fuzzy in his mind now, but the soft sound of her voice stayed with him. As these thoughts ran through his head he found his hand creeping down his body of its own accord. He palmed himself lightly and shut his eyes tighter against the electricity that jolted behind them. There was another moment that flashed through his mind, and helped him grow closer to the release he sought. Behind his eyes stored safely away in a place that no one else could see, he saw her pressed tightly against his side. Her long braid was dirty, covered in sand and salt water, her skin dotted with bits of weeds and algae. They had spent a long time in the dreamscape that day, running back and forth along the land to reach each other. Finally she decided to jump into a murky channel of the water and swim over to him. When she reached him she was dirty and cold, but she smiled brightly at him. He brought her close to him then, and her curved body pressed itself into him freely through her soaked garments. Kylo let a small moan escape him then as the memory replayed itself in his head, edging him on and reminding him of where his desire stemmed from.

His mind wandered to the way she looked at him now and the grasp he had on himself grew firmer. She looked at him like a lost child, her eyes full of wonder and fear and curiosity. He imagined what it might be like if she did accept him, if he revealed himself and she took him into her heart willingly. His breath caught in his throat as that particular thought swam around in his head, accompanied with the image of champagne eyes looking up at him submissively, compliantly waiting on his command. It was too much and the fantasy drew a shuddering breath from him. Before his racing libido could take him any further he was spent with a throaty groan. Pinpricks of pleasure kissed across his skin, and he felt the instant relief of euphoria silence his mind. His knees buckled against the wall and his breath came to him in heavy gasps as he let his tired arm fall to his side. He ended the shower quickly after that, rinsing his body and scrubbing his hair furiously as if he could scrub the filth from his mind. The unit turned off with a whistle and he stepped back out into the world.

Olive skin puckered up as the cool air brushed over it, and he rushed to grab a towel to defend himself from the chill. Once he was dry he walked back out into his sleeping quarters and caught sight of himself in the mirror. Kylo Ren was not light and fair like the wisp, and he wondered how she would ever accept him. He wouldn't have her if she didn't want him, the evil in his heart consumed most of him, but he was still a man. There were things he wouldn't do, even at his most depraved, and he had promised her he wouldn't hurt her. It wasn't that he loved her, but something in his chest ached when he saw her. It crooned and bellowed for him to touch her, to possess her, to take her and let the world know she belonged to him. He had captured the mythical wisp, and now that he had her he wasn't prepared to let her go. For both their sakes, he hoped she came to him easily. He didn't know what he would do if she denied him, but the ache in his chest burned like hellfire when he thought about the possibility.

Kylo made his way toward his bed as he wondered when his obsession with Arielia had started. He pondered on why he felt so needy for her, and why she had plagued his mind with desire and intrigue. If he was honest with himself, the first time he saw her in the dream scape something deep and primal pulled him toward her. It wasn't the force, in fact as many time as he had tried he couldn't sense the force within her at all and besides that he knew what the force felt like and it wasn't the same. The pull he felt toward her wasn't good or evil, it wasn't metaphysically intertwined with the world, but it was there and it was strong. Sometimes he felt like it would tear him apart, and other times he felt like he would fall apart without it. He knew that these feelings were outside of that, and for that reason he needed the wisp to bow to him. He needed her to submit to his protection and will to protect them both. Kylo Ren knew that if anyone were to threaten her, he would be powerless to fight against them, he would give up everything to protect the ray of silver light he'd come to lust after. Her existence compromised him, it was a weakness. As he laid his head down to fall into a couple of hours of restless sleep, he promised himself that she would belong to him and if she refused he'd make sure that nobody else could have her.

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_ When she arrived in the dreamscape, she immediately knew something was wrong. She couldn't place her finger on it but something inside of her was screaming at her to react, it begged her to listen and her attention was caught by a tall rock pile on the far edge of the beach. Arielia followed her gut instinct and made her way to the pyre, determined to reach the top before she woke up. To her great surprise, the dreamscape seemed to help her reach her mark. Her steps carried her much further than they would have in the waking world and she was soon cresting the peak of the small cliff. _

_ Arielia stood at the top for a few minutes, trying to find the source of what lulled her there, but she couldn't see anything. Finally she let her eyes fall over the edge of crag and the air puffed out of her lungs in a strangled cry. She felt her blood pumping through her veins, everything bulging and popping through her as she stared down at the alcove beneath her. There, amongst the vines and sand, was the shining black Upsilon she'd seen when she first approached the First Order slave trade. It didn't take long for its meaning to dawn on her, and everything started to fall into place. Kylo Ren's odd fascination with her, the familiarity of his touch, why she was being kept alive; all of it fanned the embers of her mind to life and she found herself crying again. _

_She had been there for quite some time when he finally made his approach, she questioned why it had been so easy for him to come upon her, but she chose to ignore it. Instead she continued to stare blankly over the edge she'd perched herself on. The sea water crashed up around the crag and tickled her toes dangerously as she breathed in the salty air. Kylo Ren stood behind her and said nothing, he just watched the back of her blonde head rise and fall with her heavy breaths. Tendrils of what he'd done in the refresher unit stuck with him, even in the dreamscape, and shame held his words hostage. As he stood behind her, he finally saw the true damage that had been done the day he stole her away. Her shoulders were blistered and marred by sun, and thick spots of heat rash festered along the back of her neck and arms. Without his consent his heart lurched in his chest for her, and he found himself yearning to heal her wounds. _

_ Arielia broke the silence first, her words cutting through the heavy air like a knife, and she made no attempt to hide the hurt in her voice as she wretched out, "Have you ever been lied to?"_

_ Kylo's stomach jumped into his chest at her question and a battered coat of guilt shrouded his shoulders. He had been lied to, he had been betrayed and he knew that what she was experiencing was the bitter taste of foolishness. His own master had betrayed him, he had planned to strike him down while he slept, and the biley ooze of having been the fool still coated the inside of his mouth with fury. _

_ "Yes," he responded quietly, hoping she would stay there with her back turned to him. She didn't and when she snapped her head toward him the malice in her eyes scorched his face and left him bewildered and sore. It was written all over her face, he had been found out. He didn't know how she knew, but when her bottom lip started to tremble he moved toward her, intent on explaining himself._

_ Arielia jumped to her feet and took a menacing step of her own toward him. It froze him in his tracks and sent a sharp pang of regret up his spine, crippling him. She had never responded like that before and it solidified in his mind what he already feared. The silver girl would never accept him; he was a monster. _

_ "Ask me" she demanded, her full lips drawing back over her teeth. Even in her fury, he marvelled at her beauty. Like a trapped animal, her eyes flashed at him dangerously and she snarled, "Ask me again."_

_ Kylo Ren stood frozen and in his absence Ben's voice crept through, lighter and softer like the one he'd used when he spoke to her in the medical bay._

_ "I am sorry," he almost whispered, his throat dry and tattered, "I will explain everything, just listen to me-"_

_ Ariliea reached a hand out to him taking another step forward, and an unfamiliar feeling overwhelmed them both. All at once he found himself staring down at the Upsilon, his feet suspended callously in the air. His chestnut eyes went wide and for a moment they caught hers, the innocent champagne orbs were wide and afraid; she didn't mean to do this._

_ He saw her mouth fall open in a silent scream and her face come into view over the crag's edge as he tumbled down, and then everything stopped. Pain rippled through his body as he slammed into the top of the Upsilon, and he felt himself snap inhumanly then the dreamscape when black._


	6. Need

**AN: Hey guys! I'm so happy to be sharing Chapter 6 with you all. I almost never stick with a story and I am feeling pretty proud that I am following this one through. I apologize for any errors or incontinuity that might occur I am still getting my fanfiction legs back, but I am so thankful for the support and views I've been getting! Thank you all so much! While I wrote this chapter I was inspired by Smelly Eyelashes **_**When the Party's Over **_**and **_**You Should See Me in a Crown. **_**TW:potential PTSD, mania, just general sad boy feels**

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 6:Need

Arielia woke up in a cold sweat, terror pumping through her veins. It gnawed at her core and left her feeling empty and hollow. _What had she done? _Her mind raced, her memories of the dreamscape leaving her quickly now that she was awake. She grasped onto them desperately and tried to put the pieces together, but nothing seemed to make sense anymore. _Had she really thrown Kylo Ren off a cliff side? _Surely he would be fine in the waking world but that thought wasn't enough to soothe her writhing emotions. _How had she done that? _She wasn't sure, and it only made the situation she had found herself in more confusing.

She sat up from the medipod, the capsule having been left open from the day before. Her whole body felt like it was electrified. From the roots of her hair to the tips of her fingers she found herself brimming with an energy she had never felt before. It made her feel powerful and strong, the terror and pain that filled her body when she first woke up in the medical bay had faded. Instead of weakness, formidable strength encouraged her to move and she pushed herself up out of the pod. For the first time in days Arielia stood on her own two feet. The ribbony muscles of her thick legs rippled at the effort, but they did not waver. She stood steady, allowing her abused body to recall what it meant to move before she dared to try.

As she took her first steps around the small room, her mind flashed by to the raven haired man she thought she knew. His eyes had filled with hurt and confusion as he fell before her, the haunted gaze was burned into her mind and it tore into the nerves there. She didn't have to wonder if he would be ok. If it were that easy to kill the infamous Kylo Ren someone else would have done it ages ago, but she did wonder what the consequences of her actions would be. _Would he kill her now? _Arielia didn't know, but she knew she didn't want to find out. If she was going to escape the time had never been better. Her body buzzed with the energy she had found in the dreamscape, and her strained muscles felt stable enough to put up a fight.

The girl had almost no time to plan her exit before she heard the airlock to the medical bay whoosh open. An icy spike of anxiety pierced through her gut as the sound of heavy footsteps pounded against her ears. She didn't turn around, she stood stalk still, her back toward the entrance of the medical bay. Arielia felt him there, the dark spot that laid in the recesses of her mind flared to life and pulled at her desperately, reminding her that she should have known all along the danger she'd put herself in. Despair and pain washed over her, she wasn't familiar with this feeling, but she could feel the dark tendrils of him wrapping around her insides.

Kylo Ren felt the disembodied intrusion of her influence, too. The fear and disbelief she felt sent his mind into a downward spiral, a brutal reminder of feelings he would rather have forgotten. Still, as he pried his way through her darkest secrets, he couldn't find light or darkness, instead what he saw was an endless void of nothingness. It was quiet in the deepest recesses of her mind, there was no feud between good or evil, no voices of force users past calling to her, just blissful, gray emptiness. He remained there behind her, saying nothing, the ache of her rejection still throbbing in his bones. His red, blotched face was hidden behind his mask, the emotions that betrayed him tucked away safely from sight. The physical pain he'd felt in the dreamscape didn't compare to the pain he felt now as he gazed upon her. Even without seeing her face he could feel her anger and confusion.

"Do you know who I am?" after many moments of tense silence, he asked her. The question corroded against his lips like acid, and reminded him of the savage look she had given him in the dreamscape as she demanded that he give a chance to answer him.

"Take off the mask," she all but whispered back to him, an eerie chill settling over the words and finding its way to her bowels. The feeling sent a shiver up her spine and made her knees feel weak and uneasy.

The dark master moved slowly, his hands trembling as they made their way up to the airlock of his heavy shroud. With a sharp hiss he lifted the mask away and let it fall to the ground with a heavy thud.

Arielia jumped at the noise, her heart racing fast, and it took all of her strength to muster the courage to turn around. When her eyes finally turned to meet him, he felt naked. The round, champagne orbs cut through him and left him feeling exposed and raw. Her angelic face was contorted and stained with tears, and the parts of him he had steeled against her started to wear away. Cruel realization crossed her delicate features as what she already knew was solidified in her mind.

"I know who you are," she started slowly, inching her way towards him. The power that charged through her burned her skin as she closed the distance between them. He felt it as well, sweltering and hot, it brought him back to the real world and reminded him what she had done. She had the same look on her face now that she did in the greenscape, but this time he raised his hand first. Arielia stopped there, but her body screamed to keep going forward. He felt her fighting against his pull, but he held on tightly a fierce look in his eyes.

"Do not try to fight me, Arielia," he commanded, crossing the rest of the way to her. As he came upon her he let released his force grip on her and grabbed her face firmly between both of his large palms.

"Who am I?" with a tight squeeze to her jaw, Kylo Ren demanded. Arielia's eyes searched his as he questioned her, and she was met with that same tortured gaze he always seemed to have. She realized he wasn't asking for her benefit as she watched desperation flash across his face. As his grip on her tightened painfully any pity she could have felt for him left her, and she narrowed her eyes at him icily.

"You're a monster," she gritted out, "A lying, murderous monster." Arielia meant it, truly and deeply from the bottom of her core, she meant it. She had never been face to face with evil before, but she was now and it was beautiful. Even in his fury, he was immaculate. His dark hair stuck to his forehead haphazardly and his black eyes burned at her wildly, portraying a thousand different feelings and thoughts at once.

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks and knocked the wind out of him. The acrid taste of regret threatened to blister his mouth, but he quickly stomped it out and willed the heartbreak to fuel his dark power. Another emotion quelled in his belly as he stared down at her and let the threat of her rejection consume him. The feeling was hot and white, and it clenched his heart tightly within its grasp. Kylo Wren gnashed his teeth together and held onto what remained of his dignity. He released her face and threw her to the floor, not caring to watch her fall.

"I am a monster," he agreed forcefully, as if he was convincing himself. He paced back and forth in the small room before turning his dark gaze on her again, "And you are nothing. A slave girl from Otara VII, completely meaningless in the grander scheme of the universe, and yet here you are. You're not meaningless to me. There is something inside you, I felt it there when I fell. If you accept me, I can help you with it."

Kylo Ren was unbalanced. The look on his face snapped at her feverishly and a dangerous aura surrounded him. His skin was glistening and his normally placid features were alight with uncontrolled energy and power. He reached a hand toward her and she scampered away, still sore and piled on the floor where he had left her. This wasn't the soft boy she knew from the beach, this was something entirely different, and it sent shockwaves of fear and intrigue through her. She shook her head furiously at him and forced herself to her feet. Calloused palms found their way in front of her and she backed away from him slowly.

"S-stay away from me," she shuddered out, "O-or I'll do worse than push you off a sea crag." Arielia tried to feign confidence, but even she didn't believe that she was able to do such a thing. She had never felt the way she did in the dreamscape, and she wasn't sure she ever would again, but still she stood arms outstretched in front of her and focused.

A throaty chuckle forced its way up his throat, but the smile that tainted his features held no mirth.

"You don't know how," Ren countered back, pressing forward toward her until she was backed against the wall of the medical bay. He forced his knee into her thigh and pressed his chest to her letting his hot breath ghost across her face.

"That's why you need me," and with that final statement he turned swiftly on his heel. He left her there, panting and bright eyed, a mixed look of surprise and unexplained want painted across her delicate features. The airlock hissed shut behind him, and Arielia stood there stupidly, hand over her chest. She felt her heart beat hard under her palm for what must've been an eternity before she moved again. Arielia felt shell-shocked by the dangerous man who she both knew and didn't know, her brain sent a different signal to every part of her body swirling her back down into her subconscious. For the rest the day she sat perched on the edge of the medipod, eyes glued to the big heavy door that separated her from the rest of the ship. The next time he came for her, she would be ready, and he would tell her the things she needed to know.


	7. Helping Hand

**AN: I was really vibing **_**Natural **_**by Imagine Dragons and **_**Snow White and the Huntsman **_**by Florence and the Machine while I wrote this chapter. We are really starting to get into the meat of everything here and I finally feel settled into this plot. Thanks so much for sticking through this with me! I hope you guys enjoy!**

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 7:Helping Hand

The very air around him was heavy as he made his dreary trek through the great halls of his ship. Kylo Ren felt like he had been stabbed through the heart, and this time he wasn't sure he would make a recovery. Arielia's resistance had poured over him, and left shame and guilt in its wake to drown him. He was treading a thin line somewhere deep inside of himself, cautiously tight-roping across the dark abyss that had nestled itself in the furthest reaches of his soul. It was too much, and he could feel himself fissuring dangerously.

Finally he arrived on the bridge that connected his ship to the great Starkiller Base where he was met by the contemptuous face of General Hux. His sharp features were drawn back in a look that was both regal and wild. It made him look even less imposing the usual, the normal control that influenced Hux' features was replaced by anxious desperation. Ren already knew the source of his worry. They hadn't managed to complete their voyage to D'Qar, and it was the Master of Ren's fault. As if to rub salt in the wound he, along with his crew, were immediately summoned back to the base Starkiller and were anticipating a Resistance infiltration at any minute. For a moment Kylo wondered why he ever thought this life would be more fulfilling than the one he could've had. Quickly he shoved that thought to the back of his mind, along with the intruding image of his forlorn Jedi master ready to strike him down. He almost forgot the general was there until the slight man cleared his throat.

"How is she?" he asked, clasping his hands together tightly, "Will she need anything while you are gone?"

Kylo Ren looked at Hux for a long time, analyzing his face and filing away the data he found there. He wasn't a threat, not to the wisp, but the thought of the redheaded man tending to her while Kylo was too distracted to ensure her virtue made his mouth dry. Ren knew is was a necessary evil, however, as the image of her torn, ragged clothes and matted hair flashed through his mind.

"Find her clean clothes, and send a droid in with anything she might need to refresh herself," he spoke back ferociously, gritting his gnarled teeth at the man, "Don't make me regret trusting you with this, general."

Hux didn't need to be told twice, and he scurried away. Kylo breathed a sigh of relief that the man hadn't tried to debrief him of the situation any further, he didn't know if he could fit one more piece of information into his mind. Somewhere from deep within the base he heard the bellow of alarms, and the clattering of stormtroopers running down steely hallways. The battle was here, and as he moved toward the commotion the cold, dead eyes of Kylo Ren replaced the conflict in his heart with deadly malice.

It all happened in a whir, he heavy-handedly pushed his way through the stormtroopers and then he stood on the bridge face to face with Han Solo. The man who had both raised and haunted him stood there like a damned apparition, hand outstretched and eyes willing to forgive. The last of his will power was spent trying not to take that hand, and as he watched his father fall from the bridge into the neverending blackness below, he too felt plunged into darkness. He registered the sound of the crossbow blaster too late, and by the time he reacted his chest was already aching. Blood pooled under his armor and made his already burning skin even warmer, he embraced the pain and pushed the fear of death away. Time for such thoughts had long since passed him by as the pull of the force reminded him of the insolent Jedi girl who fled from him. Her sun kissed face bombarded his vision and he found himself sprinting into the forest after her, chest heaving and feet falling loudly as he crunched through the snow and leaves.

He found her friend first, and though they both attacked, he dispatched the defected stormtrooper quickly. Facing Rey would be different, he knew, she was strong and formidable nothing like the tender hearted boy he had just cut down. As she won their battle for his grandfather's light saber he finally recognized that he might be in over his head. The wound on his chest ached deeply and with a roar he brought his fist into the source of his pain. At first the impact almost made him faint, but as the haziness faded it was replaced by furious adrenaline, the hurt igniting his neuroreceptors and encouraging his body to keep going. He struck out with his saber at her, again and again, a series of heavy, crushing blows that would have easily disarmed a weaker opponent.

Rey didn't falter, and their battle raged on. Flurries of blue and red whipped through the forest, leaving fire and ruin in their wake until finally the fighters were forced to stop. Rey's feet were perched dangerously on the edge of a sharp drop, and as she pushed back against him trying to turn the tides, the image of Arielia's face as he fell through the air invaded his mind. Kylo Ren stared into Rey's impassable eyes for a moment, memories of the wisp flooding and being pulled from his mind all at once. It wasn't until she spoke, the words sharp and quiet, that he felt the pull of her influence on his mind.

"She will never want you," she whispered, her mouth hardening into a straight line, and with those words she had the upper hand. Kylo stumbled backwards and before he could react Rey was on top of him, slashing and stabbing her way through his fortitude. Pain flickered awake in his arm, and then his chest. Suddenly the blue light of her saber flashed in front of his face and he was falling backwards to the ground. Rey made her way toward him the intent to finish him off burning menacingly behind her eyes, but Kylo raised his hand willing the earth itself to fall away before she could make it. The last thing he saw before his vision blacked out was the Jedi girl retreating, and dread crept into his heart as visions of the wisp swam around his subconscious. He had given her away to the one person in the galaxy that could defeat him. Kylo Ren reached out a hand as he lay dying in the snow, and prayed to the force for help one final time as his eyes slipped shut.

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Arielia laid on her side in the medipod, wide-eyed and unmoving. Her hair was still wet and it smelled like soap from the shower Hux had insisted she take. She didn't want to, she wanted to keep watching the door, wanted to wait for him to appear again. After the pale mans pleas, and a firm agreement that he would watch the door for her, the girl had acquiesced. The fabric of the clothes he'd brought her was soft and a dull grey color. A simple cropped top and highwaisted fighting pants covered her curved body. She didn't want the shoes, she had never worn them before and she wasn't about to start, so she had discarded the thin grey slippers into the corner of the medical bay.

To some degree she was thankful for the shower, the dead, burnt skin that had accumulated on her back and shoulders had been washed away. She felt truly clean for the first time in her life, and she tried to take some comfort from that. Her hair seemed to shine even brighter, almost white now that the dirt had been rinsed out of it. She played with the ends of it mindlessly as she stared at the door, marvelling at how soft her hair could be when it was washed. The ribbon she usually used to hold her hair in an untamable braid had been unsalvageable once she pulled it free from her mane, and so the pearlescent tresses fell over her chest and navel in straight, sleek stands.

The crushing reality that nobody was coming for her weighed heavy on her mind, and as her burning eyes welled with tears again she bit them back bitterly. Self pity was a dangerous creature, and one she wasn't willing to battle with right now. Instead she turned onto her back and closed her eyes, willing sleep to take her away from this place.

_There's no time for that now, _an even voice rang out. Arielia shot up, head whipping around to find the source of the noise, terror forcing the muscles in her legs to tense.

"Who's there?" she called out, continuing to fruitlessly scan the room.

_Be calm, child. I come in peace, _the voice offered, and Arielia hesitantly willed her heart rate to slow. It was definitely a man's voice, but it wasn't Kylo or Hux. She hadn't heard this voice before, and she still couldn't find its source.

"Where are you?" she quipped back, demand and confidence crawling their way out of her.

_Here. With you. Now is not the time for questions, child. You must act now. I will explain everything in time, _it responded and she felt a sudden tap on her subconscious, warm and inviting. For reasons she couldn't explain she somehow knew that the warm spot was where the voice originated from, and it made her feel at ease.

"Who are you?" she asked, her head swimming with more questions than ever. If now wasn't the time for answers, then she at least wanted that one.

_In time, _the voice gave back, _For now Ben Solo waits for you in the woods. Go to him before he is lost to us forever. _

"Who's Ben Solo?" she called back quickly, fear of the unknown creeping back as the warmth receded from her mind. The disembodied voice was gone and in its place was the sound of the airlock hissing open. A familiar pull grasped her by the lungs and she stared at the open door. As she gazed through the passage she knew nobody was coming in, an intuition deep inside of her blazed to life at the exit so clearly meant to be hers. Against her better judgement, she followed the pull and found herself stepping out into the hallway of the great Upsilon.

Doubt flared its ugly head as she gazed down the maze of corridors that surrounded her. She would never find her way out of here, and even if she did she had no idea who Ben Solo was or how she would find him in the woods. Arielia steeled herself against the negativity that plagued her, the thought that if nothing else she wouldn't have to spend one more minute in the medical bay driving her onward. The disembodied voice had offered her an option she didn't have before, and she had to at least try. It couldn't possibly lead to anything worse than the situation she was already in. The silvery girl focused in on the primal pull she'd felt while looking at the door, and it was as if she'd walked these halls her whole life.

Her feet flew down the long walkways, and carried her to the heavy front door of the ship. It was swarming with stormtroopers, at least ten of them, and they all had blasters. Arielia had never seen so many weapons in her life, and the sight left her gaping. There was no way she could get past them. She wasn't a fighter or particularly good at sneaking, and her gut quivered with fear followed immediately by deflated defeat. The voice she'd heard in the medical bay hadn't considered that she was a coward.

_Walk to the door, my young friend, _and suddenly her disembodied mentor was with her again.

"Are you crazy?" she whispered back before realizing the irony of the situation and turning a garrish shade of pink, "Or am I the crazy one for listening to the voices in my head in the first place?"

_You are not crazy, child. Now walk, I will protect you. I know it is a lot to ask but you must trust me, _the voice insisted and she felt that welcome tap on her subconscious again.

"Ok," she breathed, not wasting any time or questioning her decision anymore. Arielia reminded herself this was her only option and walked out into the exit bay. She tensed, expecting the stormtroopers to whip around and open fire. They didn't, in fact, as she moved to the ramp and then up to the access panel that opened the door, it seemed like they couldn't see her at all. The girl added that to her long list of things she would have to ask about, and thanked the gods that the door was already opened as her eyes caught sight of the many buttons she would have had to navigate through to do it herself. Cautiously, she stepped out of the ship and the bitter cold air puckered her skin.

Arielia shivered at the unfamiliar feeling of wintery air and breathed the frozen tendrils in, pinching her eyes shut at the sting that settled in her chest and throat. The pull pressed against her back and forced her out of the trance, screaming at her to keep moving. She made her way toward the imposing treeline that seemed to surround her, and let the greenery envelope her. In all her life, Arielia had never seen a forest before, much less travelled through one. Any other time the experience would have taken her breath away, but the pressure inside of her grew stronger with every step she took and she knew she was too close to stop.

Over a hillside, close to the crumbled, bubbling edge of a fault that stole a gasp from her she spied a black smear surrounded by the most crimson red she had laid eyes on. The pull took complete hold of her then, and she rushed toward the gorey spectacle. As she neared the smear her closeness helped her make out the shape of a man, and as she got even closer she recognized who he was. His black haired was splayed around his head, stark and shocking against the white snow and his face was marred by a cut that made her toes curl, but she knew him immediately. Her heart dropped as she realized she was still no closer to escaping the mighty Kylo Ren, but her conscience forced her into action.

Arielia cautiously inched her way to his side, afraid he might jump out and grab her. When it became clear to her that he wasn't playing a game with her, and that he truly was laying there in the snow bleeding out, she dropped to her knees next to him. Was he Ben Solo? She had no time to wonder as she stared down at Kylo Ren. It surprised her that he somehow seemed more peaceful like this, eyes shut and face passive instead of tortured and full of conflict. With shaking hands she reached out to take his pulse, it was slow but steady if she could get him back to the ship he would make it. She knew she could leave him there to die, she could run into the woods and tempt fate to kill her before the First Order had a chance to. The thought didn't linger long. She had nothing to return to even if she did escape and the elements would be more difficult to fight than Kylo Ren in their current respective states. Her small hand left his neck and was joined by the other to cup his face in her hands, willing some sort of life back into him. She would never be able to carry him out, and if she had to drag him it would take her until nightfall to get him back. Another glance at his bleeding wounds and she knew he didn't have time for that. His death seem inevitable if he didn't wake up and she was possessed by the emotions she'd felt toward him in the dreamscape. All of the memories they had shared there together floated through her mind and she felt a desperate tug on her heartstrings.

"I don't know if you can hear me," she started, the words flowing out of her mouth without her permission, "But you promised me you would help me, and I need you to do that now. I need you to wake up and help me get you back somewhere safe."

Arielia stared at him expectantly, hoping she could bring him back to her with her willpower alone. Her stomach sank when she realized that wasn't going to work, and she felt the terrible gnaw of loss whispering through her. She hated watching people die, she hated not being able to help them and she felt tears welling in her eyes again, hot and determined.

This time she leaned down and pressed her forehead to his, the blood smearing into her fair hair, staining it. She didn't care, she closed her eyes and held his face tightly to hers.

"Please," she whispered, "You have to come back. You have to open your eyes. I can't do this on my own, Ben Solo. If that is who you are, I need you to open your eyes and tell me what to do."

A strong palm suddenly covered the back of her head and ran down her neck to lay lazily on her collar bone. She opened her eyes and muted pink met sparkling brown. Her breath hitched in her throat but she didn't pull away, like a mouse stands still hoping to trick the snake that pursues him, so did she.

"You came for me," he whispered dangerously, and she could almost feel his lips ghosting across hers.

"I came for Ben Solo," she responded, her voice no louder than a summer breeze.

"You found him," he replied and pulled her in for a smoldering kiss that left the both feeling scalded and needy.


	8. Power

**AN: Guys, I don't even know how to explain this chapter or what to preface it with. Prepare your buttholes, it's a doozy. **

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 8:Power

Kylo didn't think about the consequences, he didn't care if she smacked him or called him a nerfherder when he pulled away, there was time to worry about that later. For one glorious moment, with his lips pressed to hers the world stopped. His body thrummed with rapture, and he was engulfed in her mouth. If he was going to die, he couldn't imagine a more perfect situation. He felt the shock that ran through her body as they kissed, the confusion, the terror, and he responded in kind. With almost every ounce of power he had left in his body he opened his mind to her, the pain, the fear, the desire; he bared it all. When he finally withdrew his mouth from hers, cradling her face gently in his hands, nothing like he'd done to her before, they were both breathless and hurt.

He knew the damage he had already done was unforgivable and black, another thing that would haunt him while he slept. Above all else he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness, but that didn't stop him from wanting it. As he lay there, completely vulnerable to her, a moment of weakness took hold of him.

"Please," he said softly, so softly almost he couldn't hear it, "Forgive me."

Arielia blinked at him, the emotions she was experiencing intensified by his desperate plea. Memories, good and bad, snaked through her dragging her further down into herself. The man that touched her face so tenderly now was troubled, and tortured. He did not always touch her so tenderly and the pain of that shrouded her in a blanket of insecurity. Still as she looked down into his dark eyes something inside of her yearned for him. She guessed, to some degree, she had always wanted him. Their time in the dreamscape was brief and abstract, but it left her wanting more. Now that the more was here, however, she was overwhelmed by the trauma and heartache that came with it.

"I can't right now," she whispered back softly, gently pushing the matted, bloodied hair that stuck to his face away. The words were hard to get out, she wanted to tell him that all was forgiven but the bitterness in her heart reminded her why she couldn't. Still, Arielia desperately wanted to believe he was the hero she originally imagined him to be, and her hand fell down to his chest tenderly as she said, "But if you help me save your life, I am willing to try."

Her words stung, they weren't what he wanted to hear but they assured him that, for once, he didn't snuff the light out of his life. He felt a little more sure of his place in the world, then; Force be damned, as long as she was by his side he knew he belonged somewhere.

"You have no reason to believe me," he winced out, pushing himself up with his elbows,"But I swear to you, Arielia, I will spend everyday of the rest of my life making sure no one can ever hurt you again. Not me, not the First Order, not Snoke, I will destroy anyone who threatens you. I won't let you be afraid anymore."

She really didn't have any reason to believe him, he had told her before he wouldn't hurt her, but she chose to believe him anyway. The look on his face was impassioned and bold, despite the pain and exhaustion of his injuries, and somehow she knew he was telling her the truth. Unfortunately there was no time to unpack that now, they had ignored his injuries for too long as it was and the more he talked to her the more desperate she became to save him.

"There's time for romantic speeches later," the girl said, a hint of humor behind her tone to conceal the worry she felt for him, "Right now we have to get you back to the base. You've already lost an extraordinary amount of blood and we are at least 1000 yards away."

Kylo Ren nodded and moved to stand the effort sending shockwaves of pain through his body and threatening to steal his consciousness. He _had_ lost a lot of blood, and he realized his situation was more grim than he'd thought. If he couldn't stand, they would never make it out of here, and if she left him now he didn't know that he'd be able to hold on until she returned with help. Times like this begrudgingly made him wish Luke were there. As much as he hated his former master, he knew the bastard would have worked out how to get back to ship before Kylo had ever been injured. He shook the nasty thought from his mind and started to sneer before he caught sight of Arielia. Wide-eyed and beautiful, submissive, her mouth slightly opened and watching him hopefully. For her sake, he had to stand, he had to walk out of here on his own two feet so he could protect her. If he looked this weak when he returned to the Starkiller there was no way he could keep his promise to her. Power was key to controlling the First Order, and if he couldn't control them then he couldn't keep them from destroying the light he'd found. He knew he would decimate entire planets to make sure that look of terror he'd seen so many times in the medical bay would never fracture across her features again, and so with great effort he rose.

Immediately, Arielia was by his side. She wrapped a thin arm around his back, and pressed her other palm into his core, holding him steady. Her touch alone was enough to urge him forward, and with lumbering, painful steps he started the trek back towards the base. Every step set a new part of his body on fire, it hurt worse than anything he had ever felt, but he didn't stop. He was filled with new purpose and the determination to ascend to his birthright as emperor of the galaxy had never been so strong. If he achieved his goal, the wisp would never have to worry again.

"Would you have told me your name?" her voice rang out as they grew closer to the base, pulling him out of his thoughts, "If I wouldn't have found out myself, would you have told me that your real name is Ben Solo?"

Ren was caught off guard and he guffawed for a moment before recovering and tightening his mouth into a firm line. Would he have told her? He wasn't sure, but it wasn't his name now and he didn't care to dissect the issue.

"Ben Solo is my dead name, not my real name," he replied back quickly, hoping to drop the subject rather than exploring it any further. He couldn't resist curiosities temptation, however, and before he could stop himself he asked, "Who was it that told you? Hux? I should have known better than to trust him."

Arielia nodded her head silently, gracefully taking the hint he'd given her and filing away the conversation for later when she had more time to pick his brain. When he demanded to know her source she shook her head, stopping to look at him. Begrudgingly she broke her gaze and continued on when her sudden stop wavered the man dangerously threatening to throw him from his feet.

"It wasn't _someone _who told me your name. It was _something. _A disembodied voice that I have absolutely no explanation for," the girl snapped out at him, forcing them to pick up the pace as she looked behind her and saw the red serpent that followed the black knight across the snow.

Now that surprised him, and he fell silent as he contemplated the many explanations he _did _have. He didn't have much time to fester over the dangers that her confession had brought to the forefront of his mind, however, as the shining body of Starkiller base came into view. Quickly all the emotions and tenderness he'd felt in the woods was pushed down by a primal need to be the fierce commander his company needed. This time he stopped their tumultuous trek, and unwound her arms from around him, already missing their warmth.

"Get under my cloak," he said, leaving little room to argue as he pulled his arm up with a wince to invite her in. He assumed the stormtroopers must not have seen her escape or she wouldn't have been able to, and he didn't want her to reveal her to them now. He couldn't stop word of her existence from spreading, but he could hide her identity from them, at least for now. If he shrouded her from sight he could hold onto her silvery glow for himself for a few more moments, and the longer he could keep her light from the glowering eyes of Snoke, the better.

Arielia seemed to take his demand in stride, but as she closed in on him she asked, "Why?"

"Your identity is the most precious thing you have in the universe," he responded slowly, looking at her deeply, the eyes of Ben Solo and Kylo Ren mixing together in a brown whirlpool full of gentility and danger,"The longer you can mask it from the world, the less of it they can take from you. Now get under my cloak."

Arielia found herself wondering about his own mask as he spoke, and imagining how much of his identity the world had stolen before he donned it. She knew that this was how he intended to protect her, despite his demanding tone that let her know he wouldn't be asking her again, he wanted what he thought was best for her. With a breath to steele her quaking nerves she stepped forward and let herself be enshrouded by him. He wrapped a strong arm around her and let the cloak fall, sealing her fate and leaving her completely at his mercy.

Kylo Ren smelled like dirt and sweat and something else entirely that she couldn't quite explain, but it made her heart stray from her chest and ignite a flame somewhere in her most private parts. The blood and filth that was smattered all over his thin armor smeared into her clothes and hair, but she didn't care. She molded herself tightly into his side and prayed that she wouldn't live to regret the intimate walk she shared with Kylo Ren to the bay of Starkiller base. His weight pressed into her heavily and Arielia suddenly became aware that this ploy was mutually beneficial. She couldn't see anything enraptured in the darkness of his cloak, but she could hear his labored breathing from her spot secured under his arm. He wouldn't have made it through this journey on his own, and she felt a dim glow of pride that it was her who helped him.

When they finally arrived into the bowels of the dark, menacing Starkiller Arielia felt the prying eyes of stormtroopers and knights alike turn toward them. Kylo's grip on her tightened, as if sensing the disease it sowed in her core, and lunged forward at them all animalistically. The tremble the sudden movement sent through him made him wobble on his feet and she moved her hand to squeeze his arm gently. He steadied then and she felt the rumble of his voice as he spoke.

"If you value your lives leave now," he growled and the words made her knees tremble. They must have had the same effect on the onlookers because she heard the clammered scattering of armored boots across the shining marble floor.

"Not you, Hux," he barked out and the screech of a sudden stop tingled her ears. Finally, his arm fell from around her and she was immersed back into the harsh lighting of the Starkiller. General Hux stood before them, trembling and wide-eyed as the grizzled face of Kylo Ren stared into him. He looked more tired than he had when she first met him, his blue eyes were dull and lifeless but when she emerged he seemed to perk up, if only for a moment.

"Sir," the redhead started, new found confidence bubbling up in his core when he saw that his charge wasn't dead or MIA, "I am truly sorry. It was not my intention to let the girl escape-"

His words were stopped by Kylo's raised hand, but it wasn't the force that he choked on. Instead it was the cleverly disguised threat his commander made that stifled the air in his lungs.

"We will talk about your failure later, general," Ren snapped, his eyes dark and intense, "For now, I want you to see the girl to my personal chambers. She will be staying there for now until I can find a more suitable situation. Meet me in the medical bay when you are finished, we have much to discuss."

The tall, black figure turned to her, offered her one more ghost of a caress, and carefully saw himself out of the room. Arielia wanted to call after him and demand he take her with him, but she thought better of it. Some parts of Kylo Ren were better left a mystery, and she decided the persona he put on for his crew was one of them.

As soon as the flutter of Ren's robes had disappeared down the hallway, Hux was upon her. He grasped her arm tightly with one spindly hand and stared hard at her, his eyes were hot and red, full of the stress she'd surely brought him. The tall, skinny man had all but told her that his survival depended on hers when she first arrived, and he was making it abundantly clear to her that he hadn't appreciated her little stunt.

"What were you thinking?" he hissed, his fingernails digging into her skin painfully, "I have half a mind to throw you through an airlock and forget that this whole situation ever existed."

Arielia could see he meant it, and it stirred up something defensive inside of her. She had saved his commander, had she not? Shouldn't he be thanking her? Her blood boiled, and for the first time since she had been on the great ship she let anger consume her. It felt so much better than the sadness and fear she had turned to before, and the fair girl let the poisonous emotion taint her words.

"With all due respect, General," she started, wrenching her arm from his grip, "If you think me escaping or my accidental death would get you killed, you should reconsider your actions. I am sure the commander would love to hear about how you dared to lay your hands on his most prized possession."

The horror that registered on Hux' face was palpable and Arielia almost grinned. An unfamiliar feeling poured through her, and it made her feel better than she had ever felt before. She had never come out on top, as a slave she didn't have much opportunity, but as the ginger man started to foam at the mouth with apology, Arielia realized she had won this battle. This was what power felt like, and the way it's strong fingers stroked her insides brought her a newfound confidence.

"I won't tell him," she said softly something dangerous smoldering behind her gaze, "But the next time you think you want to put me in my place, try to remember your own first."

Hux swallowed thickly and remained silent, the realization that this was the beginning of a new, threatening era for Starkiller base settling into his guts with an icy chill. He turned quickly, maintaining the frozen silence that had manifested between them, and led his new Mistress to the chambers of his master.


	9. Answers

**AN: Sorry for the delay guys! I wanted to make sure I was able to organically incorporate everything I wanted to in this chapter and it took me a few days to gather source material. I hope you enjoy! I pulled cannon info from the novelized version of **_**The Last Jedi **_**so if you're confused/intrigued by any factoids put forth, google it (: Thanks for sticking around this long, you guys are great!**

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 9:Answers

Hux and Arielia were in front of the great obsidian door that marked the entrance to Kylo Ren's rooms, and she felt herself flutter with anticipation. The general had stayed quiet for the rest of their journey, and Arielia was glad for it. It had given her time to reflect on the events of the last few days, and her revelations had lit her spirit ablaze. He keyed her in with a card he pulled from his coat pocket, only sparing her a moment's glance before gesturing that she should go inside. The ash haired girl stared at him for a long moment then before stepping through the doors only to be stopped in her tracks as she marvelled at the scene in front of her.

High glass ceilings hung above her, reflecting skylight off of her alabaster skin and filling her with girlish glee. The ceilings led down to a glass wall that she knew she'd be able to see the whole galaxy through when they were back in the air. Where the glass pinched off strong black steel took its place. She felt like she was in the belly of some great clockwork droid. The mix of opaque crystalline windows and strong metal walls gave the room a mechanically beautiful feel; sterile and controlled but still moving. There was a simple spacious bed in the center of the room, black and canopied with the most beautiful, sheer silk. Pushed up against one of the metal walls was a desk covered in maps, books, and other things she didn't recognize, it was scattered and messy like its owner. A big wardrobe and a door that she assumed split off to a refresher unit were the only other things in the room. She wasn't sure but she imagined the room was so bare because the person it was meant for hardly used it. Kylo always looked tired deep, troubled eyes sunken in and black from lack of sleep. For a blissful second she forgot Hux was there but she was pulled back to reality when the man coughed behind her, shifting uncomfortably when she turned around to look at him. It felt good.

"If you are quite satisfied, I will see myself out," he said, a tinge of uncertainty in his tone.

She had never given anyone a command before, and she certainly had never had anyone ask for her permission. Is this how Kylo felt all the time? It was gratifying and new, it made something deep inside of her bubble into existence. The foreign feeling tendrilled through her and she was once again overwhelmed by the urge to grin. She didn't instead she did her best to put on a diplomatic face and said, "Yes, go along. I have no need for you."

And when he did leave, tail between his legs, head held low, she was surprised. She didn't know where this newfound feeling would lead her, but as long as it kept leading her to victories like this, she would follow it.

Finally alone Arielia started to wander around the room, gazing intently at everything it had to offer. She palmed over the papers on the desk, but the shapes and numbers scrawled across them meant nothing to her and she didn't waste time trying to decipher them. Instead she made her way over to the great glass wall and marvelled at the sight. There was a large indentation in the floor in front of the windowed masterpiece that seemed to be some sort of viewing deck. As she stared through the window, her mind wandered again to everything she had been through. When she first arrived on the ship, her situation had seemed so bleak, but now with the fresh image of Hux's submission behind her eyes, she was feeling better. The benefits of Kylo Ren's fascination with her hadn't occurred to her before, but it did now, presenting her with options she'd never even dreamed of.

Arielia reached her hand up to run it through her hair, but was stopped by the debris and blood still stuck there. She made a face and her train of thought was derailed as the need to shower overwhelmed her. The girl glanced around the room and walked over to the wardrobe, hoping to at least find a towel to cover herself while she rinsed the blood out of her clothes. She reached out and grasped the silver handles of the wardrobe. With one swift movement she wrenched it open and was deeply disappointed by what she saw. A few lone black shirts hung in a corner, along with several pairs of training pants and an extra cloak; not a towel in sight. She searched for a few more seconds before something tan and small caught her eye. It was stuffed in the back of the wardrobe, crumbled and clearly neglected but something inside of her told her to investigate. Arielia reached into the dark crevice, small arms extending with the effort and pulled the wrinkled ball to her. Indelicately she shook the small heap out and saw it was a shirt. Tattered and torn, she could tell it was old. It was the size that baffled her the most, however. The shirt wasn't small, but it certainly wasn't big enough to fit Kylo Ren, and it was in such bad condition that she saw no reason to keep it. As she stared at the shirt for longer, turning it around in her hands and trying to find reason where there seemingly wasn't, the voice she had heard in the medbay rang out.

_If you only see what is in front of you, you limit yourself to the answers of the future,child, _it sounded, a cryptic kindness hanging off of the words.

Arielia sighed deeply and continued to look at the shirt, searching for clues. It wasn't until she accepted that there weren't any that she replied, "Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? Don't all answers come from the future? If the answer is already known, why ask the question?"

_If you don't ask the question, how can you be sure you know the answer_? she heard, and she shook her head at the absurdity of the thought.

"Because I know it," she retorted dumbly, looking around the room for a moment, "What does any of this have to do with a shirt?"

_Many answers can be found in a person's clothes. Clothing sees things that the wearer daren't show the world. If you know where to look, you can see these things as well, _the voice whispered, and she felt the familiar, warm tap on her subconscious that accompanied its advice.

The touch put her at ease and she surrendered, hesistanly asking, "So where should I look?"

_Close your eyes. Some things are better left to your mind's eye, _she did as she was commanded and the voice continued, _Good. Let go of what you can see in the physical world and focus on what is left. That is where you will find your answers, my young friend._

For a long time Arielia saw nothing, just the same familiar blackness that came when one's mind is empty. Just as she was starting to lose hope, however, there was a tall boy standing just a few feet away from her. He was so faint she could see through him, but as she inched closer, his image became more clear. Dark, eye length hair hung about his head with one long braid snaking out from the back to lay on his shoulder. The shirt she had held in her hands was worn by him, a slouchy fit on his gangly frame. He was all heavy arms and legs, gawky and awkward, she thought he couldn't be more than twelve. As the boy became more clear to her, so too did the world around him. They were standing in a dimly lit hallway, warm and inviting, if she focused hard enough she could smell the remnants of a freshly cooked meal. The boy had his ear pressed to a door in the hallway and he listened intently. Arielia could only see the back of him, but she could tell that he was upset and she wished she could hear what he was hearing. Slowly she moved toward him, and reached out to touch his shoulder. She had hoped to ask him what was wrong but she was suddenly propelled forward. All at once it was if she and the boy were one, she couldn't separate his senses from her own or remember if she was him or he was her. It was disorienting and wrong, but those thoughts were pushed aside as two hushed voices tickled her ears.

"You have to send a message out to Luke. We are in over our heads here," the first huffed out, sincerity and desperation slathering over every syllable.

"That is ridiculous and you know it. He is our _son. _He's not some monster on one of your big adventures," the second rebutted, clipped and not willing to compromise.

"Leia, I know you love him. I love him, too, but you have to admit that things are getting out of hand," with reason and an even tone, the first tutted back, "We don't know how to handle this. It's time to accept that."

"Accept what, Han?" Leia quipped back, newfound fury lacing her words with poison, "That we fear our own son? No. I don't fear him. He is a powerful force holder, newly introduced to his ability, he will learn to control it in time."

"What if he doesn't? What if it gets worse and instead of throwing a dish across the room or breaking a vase without even touching the damn thing? What if the next time he gets angry because we want him to clean his room he brings down the whole house?" Han was louder now, his volume imploring the woman to listen to him.

The conversation lulled then, but the damage was already done. Arielia could feel it, there was a heaviness in the chest she shared with the boy, dark and painful. She felt him push away from the door and suddenly she was falling down onto her backside. The girl scrambled to her feet and watched as the boy walked away. She only caught a glimpse of his face, the sight of it troubled and long, but it made her heart sink.

"Ben Solo," she muttered sorrowfully, pity grabbing ahold of her stomach and clutching it tightly.

"That's right," someone said from behind her, the voice familiar, kind and warm, "Ben Solo, or as you know him Kylo Ren."

Arielia turned around slowly, not knowing what she would be waiting for her on the other side. When her eyes finally settled on the voices owner, a soft trickle of relief began to flow through her. His visage matched the kindly tone she'd heard in her head perfectly. He wasn't a tall man, but he looked strong and able with a bright face despite clear signs of aging that circled his eyes and temples. Long brown hair, that was starting to gray in some places, ran down his back and was tied away from his face in a braided crown. He wore a long robe with huge sleeves that his hands were tucked into, and she noticed that he was smiling softly at her.

"Who are you? And why are you so invested in showing me all of this?" she asked, still skeptical despite his disarming appearance.

"I apologize child, I know you must be confused. My name is Qui-gon Jinn, I am your force guide," he replied calmly, as if he'd said a word she could understand.

"That didn't help to clarify anything," she responded, unimpressed by Qui-gon's roundabout answers, "What is a force guide and why do I need one?"

"I am here to help you navigate through the force, child. It has led me to you and the why will be revealed in time. For now, all I can tell you is that a great task has been set before you and I will help you to overcome the many challenges that come along with such a journey," the jedi replied, pulling one hand from his robes to grasp her shoulder gently, "I know that you have many questions, Arielia. You must trust that you will find your answers when the time is right."

Arielia wasn't sure how to respond to that, her mind that was already so full of Kylo Ren and Starkiller base seemed overcrowded now. She felt his touch, but the comfort that it was meant to bring couldn't snuff out the ebbs of fear that spread through her core. She swallowed thickly, trying to wrap her mind around what he'd told her. There were too many missing pieces and try as she might she couldn't complete her ever growing puzzle of destiny.

"What is the force?" she managed to eek out, her voice wavering and airy, disconnected from her thoughts entirely.

"It is what brought me to you and what brought you to Kylo Ren. It lives inside everyone and everything, it is not something I can fully explain to you now," Qui-gon answered, and she thought she could hear regret in his tone, "I wish I could tell you why the force has brought you here, Arielia. It is not always so simple. You must go now. I have been able to shroud your mind from Kylo Ren, one so unbalanced cannot wade through the grey, but I cannot hide you from him in the physical world."

"Wait-" she started but the sudden snap of reality threw her backwards, tumbling her through its fingers and she was back in front of the wardrobe again. A million things that she didn't understand swam around in her head, taunting her lack of knowledge. There were still so many things she wanted to ask him, but much like her relationship with Kylo had been, her interactions with Qui-gon seemed to be brief and confusing. She hoped he was telling the truth and that she would understand everything in time because she was sure she would go mad otherwise. Arielia threw the shirt back into the wardrobe and slammed the doors shut, resolving to wait until her host returned to shower lest she stumble across a pair of shoes that showed her every place he had ever stubbed his toe.

The wide-eyed girl wondered why she was shone that particular memory, she mulled it around in her head, pacing back and forth as she did. Why was that memory so important that "the force" wanted her to see it? The answer seemed unclear, but she knew one thing for sure. She had heard fear in the voices behind the door, and so had Ben. It hurt him, but she didn't know why it hurt him. Were they important to him? Were they his friends? All of these questions floated around her subconscious, teasing and taunting her with the unknown. When Kylo Ren finally returned to the room, the door creaking open heavily in front of him, Arielia wasted no time approaching him. She had to know why that memory was important and without hesitation her voice floated over to him.

"Who are Han and Leia?"


	10. Longing

**AN: And so here we all are again! This chapter is going to be a little hot and steamy so for any virgin eyes out there, this warning is for you. I appreciate you all hanging out! I really truly thought this fanfiction would only be 15 chapters, but here we are on chapter 10 and still so many plot points to unravel. Much love, enjoy!**

**XoXo**

**Meyple**

Chapter 10:Longing

The question barrelled into him and knocked him out of his senses. Kylo Ren didn't know how to answer, more than that he didn't know how the seemingly harmless wisp had come to know those names. His blood tingled, leaving his skin abuzz with anxiety and vigilance. Though the medics from Starkiller base had sprayed him down with every healing medi they had, he could still feel his wounds flare to life as the adrenaline coursed through him. He walked toward her slowly, circling her in her place and looking down upon her. Memories of how he had promised her he wouldn't hurt her scattered across his mind, but he had to know what she knew and he was tired of dancing around the subject. With one swift movement he descended on her pinning her between himself and the cool steel wall of his bedroom. The force left his body aching, he shouldn't be doing this, but once he had the weight of her in his arms he didn't want to let go. His body was pressed tightly against hers, almost painfully. The sensation sent a shockwave of familiarity through both of them, it was bright and new like springtime flowers. Their time spent as one in Arielia's vision had introduced their souls to one another and the feeling of being apart was no longer welcome. Kylo drew in a sharp breath, willing himself back to composure before he spoke.

"Where did you hear those names?" he asked evenly, the thought of losing the little bit of trust she offered him in the forest calming the anger that swelled in his chest.

"Put me down and I will tell you," Arielia retorted, her voice assertive despite the tremble he could hear behind it. She was growing more bold, he could see it in her eyes, but he wanted to look further and see where the fire had started. He had tried to look into her mind before in the dreamscape, and was met with nothing but vast, empty grayness. It was like she had no memories at all, no feelings or thoughts, nothing for him to take from her. He wanted her to let him into her mind, not just because she had to, but because she wanted to; if she could give him her mind then he could wait for everything else. At least then he would know she could forgive him enough to trust him.

"If I put you down, will you tell me where your information is coming from?" he asked her quietly, softening his grip on her.

"I don't know how," she replied quickly, shaking her head and giving him an apologetic look. Arielia leaned into his touch as it loosened, enjoying the heat of his body when it wasn't pressed against her menacingly.

"I can find the answer myself if you let me into your mind," Kylo said back, cradling her for a moment longer before he released his hold on her. She slid softly back to the floor, her feet padding lightly on the tile as they hit it, and immediately she missed his touch.

"It can be pleasant if you let it be," he continued on slowly, walking over to the bed. With a wince he sat on the edge of the mattress and it sank under his weight.

_I have been able to shroud your mind from Kylo Ren.._the words Qui-gon had spoken to her in her vision rang out in her mind as she watched the man sit down on the large bed in front of her. She shook her head at him again, and tried to come up with the right words to explain everything that she had learned about him and herself. Arielia truly had no idea what had happened, she didn't know what the force was or how it worked, but she knew she had been told that her mind was protected from him.

"You won't be able to see anything," the girl said tentatively as she inched toward him, "At least I don't think you'll be able to, but I will answer your questions if you answer mine."

Kylo Ren half smiled at her from his seated position and leaned forward cocking his head at her quizzically.

"How will I know if you're telling the truth?" he asked, his tone a mixture of playful intrigue and wary sincerity.

"How will I know if you are?" the girl retorted with a smirk, not missing a beat, emboldened by the power she had been able to display over Hux earlier. Her heart was racing in her chest, but she ignored its protest to her defiance and continued on. She was nearly touching him now, her knees dangerously close to his. Arielia didn't sit, she stood in front of him her eyes glued to his face, wavering only to glance at his lips once he started to talk.

"Tell me everything about the voice you talked about in the forest," the man said quickly, feeling more like a boy than he had in a long time, "I need to know who it is, why they are telling you this information, and what you know. If I have to ask again, I will make sure you regret it."

It was a desperate attempt to regain control, he knew he wouldn't do anything to her, he wouldn't move again if he had a choice. Her chest heaved below his chin and her eyes were transfixed on him in a gaze that almost passed for confidence. She had never looked more beautiful to him than she did then. If he was to be an emperor, he would not go to throne without her on his arm, wild eyed and fierce. Kylo Ren didn't know why, he couldn't explain it, but he knew he was looking into the face of his queen and it set his heart on fire. Her voice drew him back to reality and his eyes fell to her mouth, watching as her full lips moved.

"It is hard to explain, I haven't experienced anything like it before," she started, her thoughts reeling around in her head. Qui-gon had told her that her mind was shielded from Kylo Ren, she didn't have to tell him anything if she didn't want to, but as she looked down into his face, scarred and inflamed from his battle, she made a choice, "At first it was just a voice in my head. It manifested while I was still in the medical bay and guided me to you in the forest-"

_Enough, child! _Arielia was stopped by the sound and her eyes searched the room instinctively despite knowing they would find nothing, _You cannot reveal what you have seen to Kylo Ren. I know you want answers, but you must wait for them to be unveiled. This is not the way. _

The voice had returned, Ren knew it by the look on her face, and he grabbed her upper arms, bringing her closer to him.

"Arielia whatever they are telling you, you must listen to me now. I have to know who they are to protect you, I can't keep you safe if you don't tell me," his voice was clipped and panicked, he didn't like the unknown, and he liked it even less when it involved her.

"H-he says I can't," the girl responded, looking at him with wide eyes, "I want to tell you, but I don't know if I should."

_Do not give in to your temptations, Arielia. The satisfaction you will get from immediate answers is not worth the imbalance it will cause, _Qui-gon's all knowing voice interjected, adding to the swirling pool of emotions she was experiencing and plunging her down into complete uncertainty. Still, despite how kind Qui-gon had been to her, and despite her better instincts she looked to Kylo Ren for an answer. Her champagne orbs searched his face, imploring him to tell her what to do. She could feel in the pit of her stomach that if she made this choice it would change everything and she had to know he was willing to take that leap with her.

"Arielia, tell me. I will never let anyone or anything hurt you again," he told her, and just like when he said it before, it melted away the insecurity she felt.

The story poured out of her like water, it washed over him cleansing away the confusion he'd felt. Arielia could feel Qui-gon's protests smashing against the furthest reaches of her mind, but she didn't care. She told him everything, and as the last of the story rushed from her mouth, her mind went silent. Her mentor had left her for the time being, and in that moment she secretly wished he wouldn't come back. Kylo Ren stared at her, drinking in the information she'd given him and processing it. He ran his hands over her arms as he thought, smoothing out the worried bumps that had formed there. She had nothing to be afraid of, imbalance or no imbalance, he would find out why she had been visited by the grey jedi. Kylo Ren had never feared force prophecies before and he wasn't going to start. Arielia wasn't as sure, he could see it in the way she worried her lips with her teeth, and he pulled her down into his lap, holding her close to his chest.

"This is all new to you," he soothed into her hair, "It will take time to understand it all, but I will teach you everything you want to know. You won't have to live like an ignorant slave girl anymore, you'll be so much more."

Arielia's breath stuck in her chest at that thought, and ecstasy prickled through her limbs to tickle at her extremities. Kylo Ren believed that she could be something, the idea made her head spin. She picked her head up to look into his face, searching for dishonesty, but she was met with something entirely different. His chocolate orbs were full of genuine emotion and so soft as they gazed at her, the tormented expression he usually turned her way was nowhere to be found.

"What will I be?" she asked breathlessly, her heartbeat thrumming loudly in her ears. His eyes were dusky and hooded, they twinkled at her in a way she hadn't seen before begging her to give into him.

"My queen," he breathed back, the look on his face desperate and imploring. She answered his question, bringing her face up to his to crash their lips together. Kylo breathed in through his nose sharply as little pinpricks of wanton desire sparkled through him and grasped the back of her head, deepening the kiss. Their mouths moved against each other needily as Arielia flicked her tongue across his lips, urging him to open them. He did, responding to her lick with his own and the touch sent rumbles of white, hot pleasure through both of them. Ren's hands moved down between them to grasp her leg, and with a light pull he maneuvered the limb across him so she was straddling his lap. She gasped, her hips bucking into him with the sudden movement. The friction sent them both over the edge eliciting lewd moans from the two in between their hot, breathy kisses . Passion enveloped them, sending their hands travelling over each other in a frenzy, searching for any skin they could find.

Kylo let his fingers entwine themselves into her hair, his hips moving up into her, searching for more of that glorious heat. The silver haired girl responded to his touch in kind and pushed into him, clumsy and aroused, meeting his thrusts with eager throws. When they finally broke away from their kiss, panting and glassy eyed, the boy brought his hand up to cup her cheek delicately.

Her face was red with desire and she gave his thumb an open mouthed kiss as his palm encompassed her face. He knew she would gladly give him what his body desired if he only asked for it, but he stopped himself silencing the hormones that raced through him.

"Not yet," he said shakily, doubting the words even as they came out.

Arielia stopped then and looked at him, rejection crackling across her delicate features, "Why?"

"Trust me," he started, pushing her hair back from her face, "I would be the happiest man in the galaxy to take what you are offering me, but I want you to consider what I am asking of you first."

"What do you mean?" she responded back, dumbfounded, he was asking her to be a queen, as far as she was concerned there wasn't much to think about.

His eyes grew dark then and his thumb moved to grasp her chin between it and his fingers. The grip he had on her wasn't hard, but it reminded her that she was at his mercy.

"If you choose to stay here with me, I will never be able to let you go again," the man warned, brushing the pad of his finger across her mouth, "Should anyone take you away from me, I would do anything to get you back. Your very existence makes me weaker. I can't risk giving that type of power to my enemies. I will do everything I can to keep you from being compromised, but you will have to obey me entirely. There will be rules that you will be expected to follow, as well as rules of conduct for those lucky enough to be given the privilege of being around you. Your life will be changed forever, and you will have chosen to walk a path of danger and depravity alongside me. If you want to leave, go now. I won't have the willpower to give you this option again."

Arielia's head felt heavy with the information he'd just dropped on her, and the flittering excitement she felt from their exchange was quickly morphing into anxiety. He was giving her an out, she could leave right now and be a free woman. Of course she could never return to her previous life, but she could start a new one, one that she could be proud of. She looked at the man in front of her, black hair frazzled and stuck to his face with sweat, he looked at her like she meant something. Even with the maroon gash that ran across his face and tucked down into the collar of his shirt, he was handsome. Far too handsome and too regal for an uneducated girl from Otara IV. In a million eons she would have never guessed that she would be in a warlord's bedroom eagerly agreeing to his request for her to be his willing accomplice. Despite her thoughts of running from the ship to pursue a life that she chose, her hands came up to pull his away from her face. With gentle lips she kissed each of his fingers tenderly, and then placed a final one on his palm. Her eyes met his and with more conviction than she knew she could muster she took his hands in her own. Words she never thought she'd say tickled her throat, and she wasn't sure how he would respond to them, but before she could stop herself they spilled from her mouth.

"I could never belong to anyone else. From the very first moment I saw you in the dreamscape my heart knew you. Just as much as I am yours, you are mine. I may not understand the force or this magic world you come from, but I know that I am meant to be here," she whispered earnestly. The desperate pull she'd felt in the forest was gone now, but it had led her to him and she was safe when he was around. In her life she had never been so drawn to someone as she was to him, she had followed that instinct so far and she intended to see it through. They sat there,breathing in each others essence for a moment before she spoke again, "I need you to be honest with me, as well, though. If you want me to have blind faith in you to make my decisions for me, then I want you to let me in. Do that for me, and you can have anything you want, I will be yours to command."

Kylo's blood ran cold as the word left her mouth. The last person he had trusted enough to be honest with had tried to kill him as he slept and betrayal still burned corrosively in his throat. He stared at her quietly for a long time, contemplative dark eyes taking in her soft features. She looked at him like he was the only thing in the galaxy that mattered, and his heart knew she would not misuse his trust if he chose to give it to her. With a deep shaking breath he solidified his resolve, determined not to lose the lifeline she had given him.

"Han and Leia were my parents," he told her softly, his eyes dropping down to the comforter, studying the pattern of it intently, "They are not anymore."

Her heart broke then, the gravity of his words weighing her down like a million stones. Arielia wouldn't have known from his face, but she could feel the hurt in his words, it was piercing and tangible. He looked so weak to her, eyes sunken and focused downward, full mouth tightened into a quivering line. She knew then why he was so secretive and it made her chest hurt to think about. The wounds he had endured from his parents were not healed, they were festering, hot things that controlled his every move.

"We don't have to talk about it," she started slowly, her voice tentative and understanding, "Not now, or ever really, but if it makes you feel better, I am sure they would still be your parents if you wanted them to be."

He looked up at her then and his face hardened, she could tell by the way he clenched his jaw that it hadn't made him feel better; it made him angry. This time, however, he didn't raise his voice at her or threaten, he breathed in through his nose deeply and nudged her off of him onto the bed. Kylo had his back to her, she could see his shoulders, tense and trembling. He seemed scared but she couldn't tell, he was difficult to read at the best of times and especially when he was upset.

"It doesn't matter if they would or wouldn't," his strained voice finally clipped out, still not facing her, "Han Solo is dead, I killed him, and my mother would never forgive me now. I did what I had to do for the galaxy. I do not want to hear anymore about them, not from you. Do you understand?"

Arielia's breath caught in her throat and she understood why he was so upset when she first mentioned their names. He had killed Han and he couldn't forgive himself for it. She knew she should be appalled at him for murdering his own father, but she couldn't bring herself to feel anything except for pity. The feeling filled her body and left her speechlessly compliant, unable to muster up the courage to say anything aside from what she thought might ease his pain for the time being.

"Yes, I understand. I am sorry," she responded softly, walking toward him. The girl didn't waste anytime, she didn't fear him anymore. Instead, she felt sorry for him and if for no other reason than to soothe her own weeping heart she wrapped her arms around his torso tightly. Arielia's head pressed into the middle of his back and from this position she realized just how powerful he was. If he wanted, he could turn around and snap her head from her shoulders with his bare hands; she would be powerless to stop him. His body was broad and strong against her slight figure, she could feel the thick bands of muscles that lined his heavy skeleton. He was an impressively strong man, tall and well built, any person would be foolish not to fear him, but she knew she didn't have to. The idea sent a thrill through her. Out of all the people in the galaxy she was the only one who did not have to worry about the wrath of Kylo Ren, it made her smile against his shirt.

Kylo's large hand came down to cover hers, locked around his waist in a tender embrace, and he smiled, as well. Despite the tears that ran down his face, he let himself be content in that moment. She believed in him, she was willing to set her fear of him aside to accept him, and that was more than he could ask her for. He didn't know when or how it happened, but he suddenly felt the presence of her mind in his own. It wasn't shrouded and grey like it had been, the fog was lifting quickly and he could make out a landscape full of insecurity, longing, and above all else power. Her thoughts were still but a distant whisper to his searching mind, but as she held him tightly and a comfortable silence settled over them, he could almost see the long haired Jedi that hid in her subconscious.


End file.
